Threads
by zephyrchild
Summary: There are threads that bind us. Regardless of space and time. Some things just are. Post-series. Comics are canon-ish only at beginning but is mostly off in its own world.
1. Coda

Willow waited. Everything running through her head. It was so spin-y.

She didn't like this airport, and she didn't like waiting here.

Where was Xander? She'd been waiting for like 30 minutes. Her suitcase wasn't really such a comfortable seat. And it was so small she felt like she was crouched on the ground.

She began to doubt herself. Just as Xander pulled up in a rather nice car.

"Will!" He smiled and pulled her into a hug.

"Xander." Willow returned the embrace.

"I didn't expect to see you back from New York so soon." Xander tossed the suitcase in the trunk as Willow climbed into the passenger seat. Which was on the wrong side of the car. She ducked back out of the car and went around to the other side.

"Neither did I."

"What happened?"

"Oh the usual. Saved Buffy from the future, travelled through time. What have you been up to?"

"I heard about that. Dawn's still a centaur. Slayerettes still running wild. Still working the eyepatch. But they let me drive now; what with my addled depth perception."

Willow smiled somewhat sadly. Even as Xander started the drive.

"Where are we going?"

"Giles has an apartment, here in London. I thought we'd stay there a few days before going back to Slayer-core in Scotland. Unless you came here to see the coven."

-"No coven. Not now."

"Okay."

They drove in silence, there was traffic and the drive seemed to take forever.

"Did something go wrong with the flight or in New York Will? You aren't babbling its kinda scary."

"Everything is wrong. And there was this family on the plane and they were so beautiful. They had this beautiful baby boy and this little girl."

"Getting the biological clock ticking away? You won't even be 24 for another month."

"I just, it reminded me of what I can't have."

"You could have that Will, you and Ken."

"I don't want that with Ken."

"Oh."

"Ken is a lot of fun Xander...and we were good together, but it was never going to be forever. We broke up again.."

"Again?"

"We just don't fit Xander. It wasn't right the way that Tara and I were right. And if I stay with Ken...then I'll never know if I could have that again."

"Aren't opposites supposed to attract?"

"Opposites attract, but they don't stay together. I don't see why she keeps coming back. She'll just curl up in my bed waiting for smoochies. But I need more than that, you know?"

"Oh. Well, you did just break up with Ken, maybe you're just a bit sensitive. So seeing a family....."

"With Kennedy, I thought that I should settle. Cause I was never getting the big love story again. I had my chance. And now- its just not enough. I'm better off alone."

"Hey, if that's what you want. Then that's fine by me. And if you need to hide out with me and my slayers than we can work that. Or I could have someone reassign Kennedy as far from you as possible."

"Really?"

"No, I'm not sure I have that kind of power."

"Its a nice gesture."

"What now?"

"We go see Giles? And have dinner?"

"Sounds good. I've really missed you Xander."

"I've missed you too Will."

The two drove in relative silence, Willow staring out the window taking note of the scenery. She'd forgotten how much she liked London.

Xander talked about Renee, and the other slayers a bit. She could tell he missed Renee, and it sucked that all the Scoobies were now single. It was still funny to think of Xander training slayers. Willow answered, but her brain was elsewhere. So far elsewhere she wasn't sure exactly how long it took before Xander pulled up to the curb to let her out. It was a normal looking small apartment building, only three stories, old looking with vines. And Giles was waiting for them upstairs. With an apartment, no doubt full of books. Willow smiled; it would be good to see the Scooby-father-figure again.

Willow hopped out of the car, she was still feeling incredibly 'off'. Part of it was Ken, but part of it was Saga Vasuki. With what Buffy had told her of the future, this ended her magical tutelage, permanently. She could still feel the earth move when her mind was quiet enough. Xander grabbed her suitcase, and the two of them headed upstairs, Xander having a key and unlocking the front door, and both of them wandering inside. Xander headed to the stairwell, and Willow followed. Not really thinking about what she was doing, but her shoes made clicking sounds as they hit the concrete.

They reached the third floor, and Xander made a turn for the door marked 302. He fumbled with the keys slightly before the lock clicked and the door swung open.

The books she expects, shelves upon shelves of old musty books. There were two couches that were an odd green colour. It was larger than she expected; probably because it was so much bigger than Giles' place in Sunnydale. There was a separate dining room, and a kitchen. And it was- nice...

"Oh wow..." Willow managed looking around Giles' apartment.

"Yeah I know, I stayed here last night. It's pretty nice. He even has cable."

"What the frilly heck?" Willow said, picking up a fuzzy white throw pillow and dangling it in front of her.

"Yeah the pillows are kinda weird. But very comfy."

"Giles?" Willow called.

"He won't be home for a couple more hours Will, he trains his slayers in top secret somewhere in the city."

"How many?"

"He told me there were 10 left."

"Right, slayer life-expectancy isn't that great."

"And Buffy's probably already set some kind of record." Xander quipped.

Before both Scoobies fell silent.

"Here, the guest room is down the hall." Xander pointed to the door, "Giles told me you can stay there for as long as you want."

"Aren't there three bedrooms?" Willow had assessed the size of the apartment and made a guess.

"Yeah, but one is filled with books. I'll be on the incredibly comfortable pull-out couch...or as they say here the sofa"

The rest of the afternoon was filled with weird old movies on TV, music and Willow unpacking her things into the wardrobe that was in the rather quaint second bedroom. The apartment looked like it had been decorated by a woman, she wondered absently if it was a Watcher's council owned property.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

"Hello?...Xander? " Giles called as he opened the door to his apartment. It was late, nearly 10 pm. He had been out late training his slayers. He wanted them to be strong, and at least somewhat well-read. He stopped and sniffed, he smelled food.

Sitting in his living room were Willow and Xander, surrounded by piles of Chinese take-out and his books. And eating with chopsticks on his couch. His new couch.

He smiled immediately, this scene was so familiar. Even though they were now nearly 24, Giles tried not to think of how old the Scoobies were getting. Or tell them that. Not to mention that he himself was quickly approaching fifty.

"Hey Giles, you want some dinner? We just started." Willow looked up extending an unopened box from the Chinese place around the corner. One that Giles was apt to frequent in a rush.

It was familiar, sitting with Giles and Xander, eating Chinese food and surrounded by books. She felt safe. And more like herself.

It was then during a conversation about egg rolls, and whether they were better in Britain than they were in Sunnydale, that Willow needed to blurt out something weighing heavily on her conscience.

"Giles, have you ever read anything about a serpent lady named Saga Vasuki?" Willow needed to know, even though the serpent-woman had served as her magical tutor and greatly enhanced her magic; as soon as Willow had magically broken their bond in New York- she had lost her ability to teleport and fly, among other things. And she needed to know why this had happened. This was a permanent bond breaking- Willow couldn't have that connection with the demon realm. It just didn't feel right anymore. Especially after she'd pulled Buffy out of the future.

"Yes. Snake-demon-woman, lots of magic likes to enchant witches and-" Giles stopped, staring at Willow who rapidly paled in response. "Oh goodness..." Giles paid extra close attention to the noodles he was consuming

Xander paused, a large helping of chicken fried rice in his mouth as he looked from Giles to Willow trying to figure out if what he was thinking was right. A few grains of rice fell from his mouth on to the couch.

"Yeah, I was one of her students. Was. I broke our bond permanently before I came back here. It's the reason I didn't fly. Well I flew, but I myself did not fly. If you have any idea what I'm saying..."

Giles chewed thoughtfully, "There have been other witches.. taken by her, it's not that unusual Her magic is quite seductive...particularly if the witch in question is vulnerable to ..the effects of power."

"I guess I was. Probably why I let her-" Willow cut herself off.

"She tends to couple with her pupils to possess, in part, their power. She feeds off their energy and links them to her own power. Its quite a rush or so I'm told. I do know something about demon-highs, quite addictive really." Giles looked at Willow, half-annoyed, half-sympathetic. "You'll be fine Willow, you may experience some slight withdrawal, but I have confidence you'll make a full recovery."

"So what was it about Kennedy that drove you to stray to such...interesting pastures" Xander's eyes were as wide as dinner plates "Were things not good in the monkey-loving department?"

"No...things were okay there. One of the few places that things were still okay in the end...But somehow I felt that something was missing, you know?"

"Yeah but sex with a slayer has got to be amazing. All that stamina." Xander turned to Willow, even in the dark he thought he could see her blush. "Or you could come play for the other team...I know a very handsome fellow, name of Harris, who might be interested in showing a nice lady what she's missing." Xander was obviously joking, but the thought was still disturbing to both Willow and Giles.

"Well I think it's about my bedtime." Giles wandered off into his master bedroom while cleaning his glasses. They were really like children to him, and the less he had to think about them in that capacity, the better.

"Ken was certainly...energetic. But she wouldn't tire out. It was hard keeping up for one thing. She'd sex me silly, then go running off out of bed to go slay things while I just wanted to cuddle and sleep."

"Not one for the snugglies then?" Xander moved his arm closer around Willow, it was a platonic gesture.

"And she was obnoxiously loud at times. We got comments. From neighbours."

"Willow, you'll find a nice girl. I'm sure of it..."Xander yawned sleepily.

"Xander?"

"Uh-huh?"

"I wish Buffy was here."

"Me too." Xander yawned, "Want to watch a movie?"

The next morning when Giles woke up to get himself some breakfast he was surprised by two things. Xander and Willow had fallen asleep on his couch. They looked like oversized kindergarteners napping together.

And a knock at his door.

"Buffy." He conveyed so much with that one word, looking at his surrogate daughter. He was furious with her, he was disappointed in her, he was worried about her, and he had missed her terribly.

Buffy looked at him uncertainly, before being pulled into a hug. Her eyes widening in surprise then she relaxed and hugged Giles back wordlessly. She pulled back her eyes narrowing.

Giles prepared himself for the worst. But then Buffy simply asked.

"Why are Willow and Xander sleeping together?"


	2. Tangling

Buffy looked from her friends on the couch, happily noting that both were fully dressed, and returned her attention to Giles.

"Hi." Buffy said.

"Hi." Giles responded with a smile.

"Giles," Buffy began, "I'm really sorry about-" She wasn't sure what she was going to say anyways when Giles interrupted her. She had missed him, she had been so angry at him. But now, just standing here Buffy was softening.

"It's forgotten. Have you had breakfast?"And with that slayer and watcher quickly made themselves some cereal and sat on the couch opposite the one that Xander and Willow were still asleep on. Snuggled up like children. It was obvious that they'd fallen asleep watching a movie.

"Well. I knew I'd missed a lot, but I didn't think I'd find Will sleeping with a guy. You know, ever again." Buffy intentionally poked fun at Willow and Xander; finally a chance for some revenge.

"They were up late watching movies." Giles responded

Buffy looked at him quizzically, "You do that kind of watching too? I'm shocked to see a TV..."

"No, just thin walls." Giles responded.

"So any big bads? Demons? Vampire gangs? Things I can kill?" Buffy attempted their own version of small talk.

"Just a lot of teenage girls staking vampires, and slaying the occasional demon. London doesn't have a hellmouth. Its not the busiest place. But it is an excellent place to train them Though I have to say it's rather odd having more than one. What about you?"

Buffy paused, somewhat nervously, "Something did happen in New York. Something big. And I'm not sure what to believe. I was offered a wish. A life-changing impossible wish, anything I want. I need you to check up on wish granting."

"Well genies are notoriously treacherous."

"It wasn't a genie. I think it was a god." Buffy finished quietly, "And I think whatever it was its connected to the slayer."

"Can you really be certain? And the ramifications of any wish you make will be so far reaching that-" Giles stopped noting the expression on Buffy's face.

"Its part of the deal. I have to wish. They've given me 2 days to decide what to wish for. I already spent 10 hours of that getting here. I needed to see you. They told me its a reward, for what I did. When I went to the future. A reward for killing..." Buffy let herself cut off.

"Did you have anything specific in mind?"

"I have a few ideas. But they said that I can't tell people what I wish for. Until it happens."

"Well, we can check the books. But- I think you should have some tea. Are you jet-lagged?"

"A little, slayer stamina stands up pretty well to fatigue." Buffy responded with a hint of her old self making Giles smile as he rummaged in his kitchen. This made things so much more bearable.

Giles made tea, the pots clanging slightly as Buffy finished her cereal in silence.

On the couch Willow and Xander were beginning to stir.

Willow woke first, her head against Xander's chest. She blinked several times, before pulling back, "Oh. I guess we fell asleep. Oh hi Buffy. Buffy? What are you doing here?"

Xander snapped awake, "Buffy? Did something go wrong?"

"Not exactly." Buffy smiled weakly, not entirely sure how to broach this subject.

"Do you want tea? Or you want to get right to work?" Giles directed his question to Buffy, but before she could answer Willow interrupted.

"Buffy you and Giles, you're talking! This is-this is... totally normal. And good." Willow babbled happily.

"Willow" Giles said suddenly "You've corresponded with gods..what do you know about gods and wish-making? That is if we're entirely sure this isn't a genie...or a demon..." Giles sat down at his kitchen table to continue puzzling.

"Well...there are lots of gods, which one did you say you were dealing with?" Willow queried.

Buffy.

"No...I'm not sure...but I know for certain that I have to make a wish in approximately 36 hours" Buffy said checking the clock above Giles stove. "What are you going to wish for?" Xander asked.

"Xander that's none of your business" Willow chastised.

"Well...just don't go wasting a wish on any vampire lovers, okay Buff?" Xander asked.

"I'll take that under advisement" Buffy said.

" But you have thought about what you are going to wish for? I'm assuming?" Giles turned his attention to Buffy as Willow handed him a rather thick and dusty book.

Buffy paused, "I've thought about it a bit. I asked for more time, that's why they offered me 2 days to decide. The catch was I had to wish."

"Oh, Buffy, are you sure that was a good idea?"

"No. I'm not sure. But I trust it. I think this wish thing is for real. I just kinda feel it."

"Well it doesn't sound like a genie." Giles mused, "But I want to look at trickster demons just in case- Willow can you?"

"On it." Willow hopped up and began to look through the various bookcases.

"No not that one- its in the library."

"Giles," Buffy paused for emphasis, "Your entire apartment is like a library."

"The spare bedroom thats full of books." Giles translated.

"Ok. Library. Cool..." Willow continued to yammer on quietly as she headed towards the 'library'.

"I think I know what I'd wish for." Xander broke the short silence

"What's that?" Buffy asked, looking up from her own large, heavy book.

"My eye back. Superpowers wouldn't hurt either."

Giles laughed slightly, "But Buffy could do so much more... an end to poverty? The end of demons?" Giles thought of all the lofty things that Buffy could wish for.

"Uh... Giles, I kinda don't want to be out of a job here. Not to mention..." Buffy nixed that idea pretty quickly.

"I'd be out of a job myself. Bad idea. The end to poverty has merit." Giles got quieter, took a long drink of tea.

"But what about what Buffy wants? She could do anything she wants, make Angel permanently ensouled- or make him human; or make Dawn human again or bring back the dead." Xander cut himself off.

Willow returned to the room, several large volumes in her hands. If it were her, she knew exactly what she'd want. But that could never happen.

"Disturbing the balance of life and death is best left alone Xander."

Buffy cut instantly, "That's something it said. It said I had to restore the balance."

"Get out of jail-free card." Xander answered.

"What?" Giles responded.

" Didn't you ever play Monopoly?- kids game- oh nevermind." Xander finished.

"Yes. Right. You think we can rule out Loki,?" Giles skimmed through another book.

"Its not Loki," Buffy replied instantly.

"I don't think we can rule out anything at this point." Giles responded.

"I'll keep looking for trickster gods and demons."

"Vengeance demon? What about a vengeance demon?" Xander suggested.

"Don't have to use the word wish. I just have to say what I want and it will happen. Should happen." Buffy responded.

"A vengeance demon would have the type of power, but offering a wish like this isn't very vengeful. You should all be familiar that vengeance demons tend to goad wronged parties into wrecking havoc on those who wrong them. Buffy didn't mention anything like that." Giles paused, "Keep looking, its got to be something else. Restoring the balance....it can't possibly want you to change the past, Buffy?"

"No...I don't think so. I don't think it works that way. It won't affect what has already come to pass."

"Huh?"

"That's something the god said."

Morning passed quickly, leftover Chinese food was devoured and the Scooby gang was collapsed on the couches, no closer to figuring anything out than they were when they started.

"Tell me something totally not related to this?" Xander turned to Buffy who was lying down on the other couch, Giles sitting at her feet still intently looking through the books.

"Violet begged for a transfer?"

"I thought she liked New York." Willow got up for a glass of water, stretching her back out on her way to the kitchen.

"She does. Kennedy's driving her nuts. No offense Will, but your girlfriend isn't exactly a good people person...she's sort of a..."

"We broke up."

"Oh good...Yeah well, she's kinda a spoiled little brat Will. Way too immature for you."

"Yeah I noticed that..."

"Well I think we can rule out every trickster god, demon, and mythical creature...unless of course it looked like this." Giles pointed out a picture in a particularly thick and dusty volume.

"Uh-Uh...I would have noticed that."

"So I think it's relatively safe to say there is a half-decent chance this won't blow up in your face Buffy." Xander said. "Hmm my tummy is growling, anyone else want pizza?"

"Hold on a minute, you mean to say that all of you are twenty-four-or close to it and not one of you can cook?" Giles shook his head disapprovingly.

"We can cook, we just...don't?" Buffy said hopefully.

Giles broke a very wry smile. "The best take-out places are taped to the fridge... I have Indian, Vietnamese, Thai, and of course..pizza."

Xander replied instantly, "Well that solves the dinner problem."

Giles cleaned his glasses. "Restore the balance.." he pondered aloud. "It sounds like it's asking for something specific, to restore the balance between good and evil."

"Well," Willow concentrated for a moment her eyes shut, "Nothing feels anymore evil than usual. Heheheheh the coven is- oh right." Willow stopped her ramblings.

"Oh its three, tea time." Giles hopped up and went to go rummage in the kitchen, "Is salmon okay with everyone for sandwiches? I'm afraid I'm out of-well a lot of things. Willow get the gingersnaps from the pantry, Xander can find another teacup that looks like this one?" Giles held up one of his good teacups as an example.

"I've figured it out!" Buffy sat up suddenly.

"Really? What is it?"

"I'll transfer Kennedy to Japan to work with Satsu, and send Leah to go work with Violet in New York. Its perfect." She glanced around at the deadpanning of her friends, "What?"  
"Oh. Well we were kinda hoping you meant the wish thing, not that slayer administration is boring. Its just well-" Willow gave up her sentence and let Xander continue.

"Boring." Xander nodded. "Not that we're not thrilled for Violet being happier while she stakes vamps but-"

"Oh found my mug nevermind Xander." Giles held it up to demonstrate, seemingly not paying attention to the Scoobies conversation.

"What does it even matter anyways, I mean a wish is a wish. Then its done. You don't think you could wish for more wishes, could you?" Xander asked.

"I don't think that would help with restoring the balance." Giles said, setting tea and a plate of sandwiches down on the coffee table, "Willow get the other teacups."

Willow hopped up, "You could just wish for a life-time supply of icecream. I mean that's what I'd wish for. Icecream? Totally harmless. Although not fitting into my clothes could become a problem."

Buffy murmured, "Restore the balance," under her breath. She knew what she had to do.

_Author's note: I own nothing, Borrowed idea "life-altering wish" said by Joss Whedon at some convention  
_

_Set during the comics, 2 years after the end of the series. Series is canon, Comics are canon-ish..._


	3. Wait

Early the next morning, Buffy grabbed a backpack from the closet, and began to gather some things together. She knew now what she wanted to do. What she knew she'd do. She found Giles' weapons in the library-room and selected a few, adding them to her bag.

She looked at Xander, passed out in the sofa bed, totally out of it. She could hear mumbling from the guest room where Willow was asleep.

She crept into Giles' room, opening his closet, she grabbed a button-down shirt and a blanket, showing them into the bag along with her weapons. She couldn't be too prepared.

Giles stirred slightly, "Buffy?" He squinted at her in the darkness and began to reach for his glasses.

"Just heading out Giles. Going to go wish."

"Its only 4 am." Giles yawned.

"I want to find somewhere private to wish."

"Alright."

"I'll be back in a few hours."

And with that Buffy left, to change things, for all of them

BBBBBBBBB

"Buffy should have been back hours ago." Xander was nervous, and the most talkative of the three.

"Well, what time did she go out to wish?"

"About 4 am." Giles chimed in from his seat on the sofa.

Xander was pacing, and Willow was leaning against the wall.

"It's nearly dark now." Willow responded, somewhat sleepily.

"I know. I hope she gets back before the storm. "

"It's not like she's going to melt." Giles added irritably. The long wait had left them all feeling tense.

"What do you think she wished for?" Willow asked, somewhat nervously.

"If you had one life altering wish, what would you wish for Will?"

"Lifetime icecream supply." Willow answered without hesitation.

"Seriously though?"

Willow hesitated, "I don't know, I probably shouldn't. It's not right." She finished quietly, "I've done enough damage- I wouldn't wish... I don't want to screw with nature, it has the annoying habit of screwing back."

"Buffy's been given a license to screw with nature," Xander laughed slightly, "She gets one screw free."

"But Buffy has to wish, that's part of the deal." Giles added quietly, fidgeting with his classes.

"I bet it involves Angel or Spike." Xander said confidently. "Which would explain why she's not here. She's off having wild monkey sex with Angel, or Spike, or b-"

"Stop your half-witted ranting," Giles warned.

"It would explain why she's taking so long. I mean she wished early this morning..."

Giles interrupted Xander promptly, "You better not finish that sentence."

"Hey- you think she'll wish her way out of her slayer duty?" Willow, after having been around Xander for several hours was starting to feel more like herself.

'What and give up her super powers?" Xander said "Never"

"All this talk is making my head hurt." Giles told them, "Can you just be quiet? I can't take anymore of your half-witted speculation." He snapped. "Additionally since we now have an abundance of slayers Buffy is at liberty to step down to preserve life and limb whenever she sees fit."

They sat in silence for a few more moments.

"I wish she would sometimes." Giles took off his glasses to rub his eyes

Willow and Xander looked at Giles in silence, they'd both known this- but they hadn't expect Giles to ever just say it.

"What should we do for dinner?" Giles asked.

"We could go out, see some of London?" Willow suggested hopefully.

"I do know this pub, it's not too far and they have the best-"

The sound of a key slipping into the lock jarred them all.

The door swung open to reveal a smiling Buffy.

"Buffy, you're back! What happened? How come you get a key? Giles, where's my key?" Xander pretended mock offence at his lack of being offered the key. Buffy merely smiled in response. 'Really Buffy, we're all dying of anticipation."

"Really Xander, that's quite enough. Certainly Buffy will tell us what she wished for."

"It isn't your shoes is it?." Willow found herself staring at Buffy's shoes, new expensive-looking shoes. "You...used your wish- on shoes?" Willow asked in disbelief.

"No silly." Buffy's smile grew wider and she stepped aside to reveal someone completely unexpected standing behind her. A very familiar someone.

Tara.

Willow could barely breathe. Buffy beamed at her. Tara shyly lifted her eyes and smiled.

"So I'm good for like the next zillion birthdays, right Will?" Buffy smiled.

"Uh-huh" Willow replied. Words were still alluding her. She couldn't do anything but stare at Tara in total disbelief. Every single freckle, gesture....Hers. Her Tara.

_Authors Note:  
As of the next chapter the story will have an M-rating; just a heads up. _


	4. Suddenly Compact Universe

And there she stood. Behind Buffy, half-smiling, eyes looking questioningly at all of them. Her clothes were unfamiliar. A soft violet coloured shirt and a pair of jeans Willow was sure she'd never seen before. But it was Tara. Either that or she really had gone crazy and was probably back in New York imagining this entire thing.

Willow looked in awe...Buffy's wish was Tara. This was the impossible standing before her. First tentatively and then with great intent, she moved forward. She pulled Tara into her arms with a sob, burrowing her face in Tara's neck, arms around her... She wasn't entirely sure who had moved first. Breathing in the sweet scent that was Tara. So strange and beautiful. Feeling her soft body pressed close once more, so familiar and so unexpected. She began to sob into Tara's neck quietly but uncontrollably.

Tara whispering to her something no one else could hear, "I love you, Willow. You're my always." And for the first time in 3 years, Willow felt home. Tara was her home.

"As for the shoes," Buffy smiled, "If coming back from the dead isn't an excuse to shop, than what is?"

"You did get some things for Tara, though?" Giles asked. Giles was furiously cleaning his glasses to hide the fact that his eyes were tearing at the sweetness of the scene before him.

"Of course!" Buffy responded, indicating the two shopping bags near the door, "The one wish didn't include bringing Tara back with a suitcase...or even clothes. I probably should have been more specific."

Xander stood gaping, unsure of what to say. He looked to Willow, her face buried in Tara's neck and back to Buffy standing there beaming like she'd just given them the best Christmas present ever. In June. It'd have been nice to have his eye back though...

"So Buffy...where's mine?" Xander joked. Although everyone else was too overcome with emotion to notice.

Giles sat on his couch, wondering why this scene was taking place in his flat, "I think you made a very good choice Buffy. It isn't ending poverty, but it is very selfless. I'm proud of you." Then he embraced his Slayer. He hadn't been expecting something this selfless from her, his surrogate daughter. He'd been expecting one of her vampire lovers in some more human fashion. At least it wasn't Spike. Or Angel. He glanced at the two witches, and cleaned his glasses as he inwardly debated his next move.

"I think we should-go out for dinner." Giles said decisively, grabbing an umbrella and a jacket from a beige armchair near the door. "Bring your coats; I think its going to rain."

"What about Will and Tara?" Xander asked, pulling on his jacket. Referring to the smiling, crying, and clinging Wiccans still standing just to the side of the doorway.

"They can stay here?" Buffy suggested, "I mean Willow was staying here anyways..."

"I think they're going to need space to talk. It's best that we go." Giles agreed.

And with a nod from Giles they left Willow and Tara alone, standing in Giles' living room. They stood still, motionless until they heard the key click in the lock as the other Scoobies locked the door.

What to do when the person you loved most is suddenly back from the dead? What is the right thing to say? And as much as Willow wanted to blabber, she could only manage to get out one word.

"Tara." Willow sobbed. Mostly in disbelief, and then Tara was kissing her; and nothing else mattered. The time apart, everything she's done since, all melted away. Everything would be ok, as long as Tara kept kissing her. The feel of Tara's sweet lips on her own, her tongue darting out for a taste, and her lips were no long kissing, but consuming. And outside the rain that had been predicted all day began to fall with a fury, a flash of lightning and a roar of thunder. Tara whispered something she didn't hear as it crashed. But it didn't matter.

Tara's hands pulled her shirt over her head, tossing it to the other side of the living room, before returning her lips to Willow's. Each kiss a reminder and a promise. As they moved down the hallway away from the living room. Every flash of lightning illuminating them briefly. Blue eyes looking at her, then darkness again. Tara's hands on her, and there was thunder again as her hands caressed the smooth skin of her stomach.

Reaching under the hem of Tara's sweater and touching soft skin, she'd forgotten how soft she was. Gasping into Tara's mouth, she began to pull the sweater over Tara's head as she back up towards Giles' guest bedroom, pulling Tara along. The sweater hit the ground. She reached immediately for the waist of Tara's pants. Unbuttoning her jeans before running her hands down beneath the fabric, all over her hips. Moving lower to grab at her ass. As Tara backed up towards the bed. Sitting on the edge and pulling Willow to stand between her legs. Tara's hands roaming her skin; tracing old familiar patterns. Her head dipped down to kiss Tara, but she remained standing. The rain kept pouring, the sky kept flashing, thunder kept roaring, and her mind kept spinning. Tara clung to Willow, kissing her fiercely desiring more contact. Willow kicked off her shoes. One flew and knocked something over, she didn't really care. The next crash of thunder all but obliterated the sound of whatever it was breaking.

Willow didn't want to wait, she needed to consume Tara, to devour her, to be inside her. If this was a dream, she hoped she'd never wake up. She needed so much more, hands and mouth consuming the other witch at a rapid pace. Mapping limbs that she thought she'd never see again.

And suddenly her hand was touching Tara, brushing past the fabric of her jeans and underwear, past blonde curls to her lover's sex. Probing wet flesh, and then inside. It wasn't the most comfortable, she didn't have as much freedom to move as she would have liked, and she was rough. Too rough, each gasping breath from Tara told her that. Still, Tara's hips kept time with her movements, and she didn't stop. Even as her back arched and Willow's mouth slipped to her neck, sucking and kissing. Tara's pulse was strong and thundering beneath her lips. Life, Willow thought briefly. Her free arm going around Tara's waist as they both crashed to the bed. Her own body burning, her lips briefly brushing Tara's again. Another flash gave her a clear view of Tara's face, lips parted and eyes looking at her like she was the world. Then the lightning slowed, she couldn't see her, and it was all wrong she had to see her. She needed to see her as she was doing this. She needed see Tara beneath her.

"Willow." Tara moaned, and then again, "Willow." Her hands coming up to Willow's back, grasping and shifting her hips, trying to find release in their frantic movements. Thunder crashed again, but all Willow could hear was Tara and every moan was her name, and Tara was tensing and close; and clinging to her and then she was coming and it was suddenly too much again and Willow was crying. Outside the storm slowed, and it was dark once more. But she didn't stop, she never wanted to stop for fear that this dream would end. She sobbed loudly into Tara's neck, immediately her rhythm faltered.

"Shh, darling." Tara's mouth found hers again, and she stilled her movements, Tara had been crying too. She could taste her tears. She kissed her softly this time. Maybe she had been way too rough. She berated herself inwardly for a moment. If this was a dream, it was the most real one she had ever had. She'd rarely seen a dream-Tara cry.

"Sorry." Willow withdrew her fingers slowly and gently. She'd make it up to her. She still remembered what Tara liked best. Tara sat up enough to remove her bra, and reached forward to slip Willow's off her body as well. Bare breasts brushing together as she rocked on her knees to reclaim Tara's mouth.

She pulled off Tara's jeans and panties. They soon formed a pile with her skirt somewhere on the floor. She reacquainted her mouth with soft perfect breasts. Taking one pink nipple into her mouth, drawing her tongue around it. Feeling Tara's fingers tangling in her hair, even as she switched to the other breast. Kissing down her belly, soft open mouthed kisses. Down past the damp curls, down until she couldn't help but dart her tongue out for a taste, savouring the flavour that was distinctly Tara. Willow made love to Tara sweetly this time. Her mouth working her lover gently and savouring her distinct flavour. Willow wished she could spend days or weeks making love to Tara. Remembering and savouring the moment it was all so different and familiar all at once. Tara's hips rocking gently, her hands caressing Willow's back. She teased until Tara swatted at her shoulder playfully, and then she worked her with purpose. As Tara filled her senses and tangled her fingers in fiery red hair.

And still, it was her name on Tara's lips when she came. And Tara's strong arms pulling her up to kiss. With a smile and a laugh she claimed Willow's lips again.

She brushed sweaty tendrils of honey coloured hair back from Tara's face. Staring for a moment, listening to the rain and wondering. Still aching and burning with desire. And then Tara's hand made its way to her impossibly wet sex. Stopping only briefly, surprised at the lack of hair. But it didn't stop her; Tara's tongue teased her own as her fingers slipped inside easily, thumb rubbing where she needed it most. With Tara's hand working her expertly and her lips kissing her mouth. She knew it wouldn't take much to push her over the edge now. Willow's hips rose and fell, her lips never leaving Tara's. And when she came it was against Tara's lips that she gasped and groaned. Tara smiled and kissed her again, maybe the sweetest kiss they'd ever had. And then she was flipped over onto her back, and Tara's lips were moving steadily downwards beginning at her neck. Tara's beautiful fair hair trailing down her body, tickling her skin in that good tingly way. Their sweat-slick bodies sliding together easily as the sheets bunched beneath them. And it was then Willow remembered just how amazing sex with Tara was. Her last coherent thought, before Tara's wonderful mouth reached its destination, was that she would not be getting much sleep.


	5. Knowing

" Tara....well Tara seems like the right choice. It just...felt right."Buffy finished looking down at her fish and chips.

Giles surveyed the crowded pub over his glass of ale. In the low lit and smoky pub Buffy sat pensively staring into her beer, while Xander, ever the carnivore dug into his steak and kidney pie.

"Oh sure...bring back Tara for Willow...We've all lost people we loved Buffy. Isn't this messing too much with you know...the natural order of things. I mean you hated being brought back from the dead. And why Tara? Why not your mother, or...or Anya."

"In all honestly Buffy...what you did for Willow was.. I have no words." Xander said thoughtfully.

"How about irresponsible, rash, and incredibly-" Giles paused, his expression softened "Selfless. What you did for your friend was one of the kindest things I'd ever seen you do."

"You didn't bring me a girlfriend too did you?" Xander asked in a joking sort of way.

"Nope, sorry...But I did bring you chocolatey goodness, and a hat that has New York written on it."

"Cool. Are you going to finish that?" Xander said eyeing Buffy's pile of fish and chips

BBB

Upon returning to his flat Giles lamented the thin walls of this building. He knew he should have gone for that pre-war building, but watcher's allowances are not quite what they used to be. He was also unpleasantly surprised to find that his favourite lamp ( one that belonged to his great-uncle) was now in several pieces on his living room floor. The seeming culprit was one of Willow's shoes which appeared to have been kicked off in a moment of reunited passion.

When he left them alone to talk, he really did, in fact mean talk. He was not intending to have two long-lost lesbian lovers as flat mates for the next few weeks, particularly if they kept on like this.

Amidst the moans, sighs and muffled giggles coming from his spare bedroom Giles poured himself a stiff drink of his favourite bottle of scotch, before returning it to its hiding place, under the kitchen sink, and far from Xander's prying eyes. Buffy and Xander had decided to check out some of the nightlife in London tourist map in hand. He had made up the sofa bed, and handed Buffy the spare key with instructions to simply be quiet when they came in. As much as he loved having what he now thought of as "his children" around, he was used to his peace and quiet. And at fifty, he was really too old to be thinking of starting a family.

He thought of Tara's unexpected return. Perhaps if Jenny hadn't died...He wouldn't usually allow himself to think of the woman he had loved and lost too soon. Perhaps by now they would have several offspring underfoot...he shut off his thoughts with a click. Jenny was gone, she wasn't coming back, even if Tara had. He downed his scotch and headed off to bed with his battered copy of Nicholas Nickleby. He wondered, very briefly, if Xander was thinking the same about Anya, before shutting his bedroom door with a click.

BBB

Tara woke slowly, everything was so familiar. The way her head was rested against Willow, the way their bodies were entangled in each other and the sheets. Everything. Except the room they were in. It was so hard to believe she'd been dead. For three years. Her next birthday would be her 25th. At least according to her birth certificate. She slowly moved, her leg still hooked over Willow's, her face buried in the crook of her neck. Until she had opened her eyes, she'd been going over how she was going to tell Willow about her crazy dream, only to realize that it had all been real.

She leaned up to look at Willow. Smiling and deciding to let her sleep. Last night had been fantastic. Admittedly she was a little sore, but Willow's roughness had shown her how much the other witch had wanted her, needed her, missed her. Every rough movement proved to her that she was still wanted and after Willow had made love to her again sweetly she felt loved.

She knew though, there had been another lover, or lovers. Willow had been with someone else. And it wasn't just that Willow's pubic hair had been shaved. She could feel it, sense it. She hated the idea of Willow with another woman. Or a man. She couldn't really be sure about that part. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to ask.

Tara grabbed the blue robe hanging on the back of the door and made her way to the shower. It took her a minute to get the water to the right temperature, she climbed under the warm spray and she thought back to waking up suddenly out in the middle of nowhere with Buffy.

_She had stood there blinking, then crouching down protectively on the ground in the darkness. Confused. The sun hadn't even been up yet. Her mind took an hour to catch up with her body. She hadn't even been sure what Buffy was saying. And she was completely naked. And it had been cold._

_She remembered Buffy wrapping a blanket around her. She clutched it close to her body. _

_Buffy had sat with her, saying things she didn't recall in a soothing tone. Restraining her when she attempted to run away. _

_The sun was up before she was able to talk. She remembered staring around at everything, so confused._

"_Where's Willow." Memories and confusion rushing back at her, pain and blood on Willow's shirt. Falling. Willow's arms. Then nothing. They'd just made up. The thought made her smile._

"_Do you know who you are?" Buffy asked slowly and cautiously._

"_Yes." Tara answered shakily._

"_Name and birthday?" Buffy asked with same sort of tone. It was all just so weird._

"_Tara Maclay, October 16__th__ 1980." She answered, still not entirely sure what was going on._

"_Ok, now I'm going to ask you not to freak out, I have to tell you something really important and you have to listen until I'm done talking." _

"_Okay." _

"_You died. You died 3 years ago. It's 2005 now. I had a chance to wish for whatever I wanted, a life-altering wish, and I wished you back from the dead."_

_Tara didn't respond at first, "No. Oh please no." She sobbed slightly, collapsing inwards._

"_Tara, I need you to listen to me. I need you to be Tara the witch right now, ok?" _

"_Why, why me?"_

"_Because, you're needed. In more ways than one. I need another witch on my side."  
_

"_So you brought me back to do a spell? Why not just get another witch to do it, just because Willow can't- Oh no, Willow." Tara's first aggressive speech ended in a sob, "Where's Willow, I want to see her; I have to see her."  
"You will. But first we need to talk."_

Tara tried to shake those memories from her mind. It was so disturbing. It didn't feel like she'd been dead. It was like being Ripp Van Winkle, going to sleep and waking up after your entire world had changed and fallen apart. She fingered the scar, from where the bullet had gone straight through her chest. Buffy said it had been left there to remind her had been dead. It was faded white, but very noticeable in the daylight. It was a dip in her breast, but she knew it was hideous. And that there was a matching scar on her back or so Buffy had told her. Every time she tried to convince herself that it was crazy, and that this was two years ago, some crazy practical joke or spell gone wrong all she had to do was look at the scars.

She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself back in the blue robe and she dried her hair. She tried not to think. She made her way through the living room to grab her new bags of clothes, and returning to the guest room. She put her new clothes away with Willow's; she didn't bother to get dressed yet in case Willow woke up. She was surprised at the lack of clothes Willow now had, a serious reduction from the days when they shared a closet.

She looked at Willow again. Was this even going to work? Willow didn't seem too different. Maybe a little different in bed, but she'd always been the more aggressive one- that hadn't changed. Tara suppressed a giggle. How much had she changed? She shook the doubt out of her head, she was still her Willow. She pressed a soft kiss to the other girl's forehead. Running her fingers through her hair briefly, making sure not to disturb the sleeping Willow. She looked so peaceful sleeping, in fact she was sleeping like she'd been deprived; like she would when they were both stressed with finals.

She cleaned up the broken lamp, using magic to make sure there was no broken glass on the floor. She though briefly about repairing it- but decided that she'd pay for a replacement. Can't be using it for everything, she reminded herself. Willow would... she wondered then. Had Willow been off magic all these years? Or had she recovered? Or...

She rummaged in the kitchen, only to manage to put together a quick breakfast and was absent-mindedly shovelling cereal into her mouth as Mr Giles burst in through the door.

"Tara, great, I need you to get dressed, and come with me right away."

"Mr Giles, good morning, umm why?"  
"Found this great hacker, can get you a passport but we have to go right now before his family leaves on vacation for the summer. They're going to Venice for a month and we can't afford to wait until they get back."

"Okay."

"Really Tara, we need to leave immediately. Clothes. Go. Now!"

**

Willow awoke several hours later. Her eyes closed and stretching leisurely. She felt fantastic. She could still smell the sex, it wasn't a dream. She felt more grounded in her body than she had in a long time. It was nice to feel this way. And if she cleared her mind she could feel the shifting of the earth, the ripples of Tara's life being restored, the life force that connects it all. She opened her eyes to reveal a disturbing lack of Tara.

"Tara?" Willow sat up in bed, fully woken up by her discovery, "Baby?"

"Tara?" She called louder, looking for her robe, finding it draped across a chair. She searched the apartment before inwardly declaring it empty. The sofa bed was made up- but neither Buffy or Xander was sleeping in it. Giles was gone as well.

Willow wasn't entirely sure what was going on. She was overjoyed and horrified all at once at Tara's return.

She remembered the sex they had shared with a smile. It had been so different from what she was used to lately. Tara's smooth tongue to Kennedy's pierced. Not to mention...Willow stopped that thought immediately, she wasn't going to be thinking of her demon magic teacher just now. That was over too. She had decided that when she'd left New York. The women she'd loved had been so different she mused. Pale skin instead of tanned, gentle versus brash, honey coloured curls versus waxed. Not that any of that mattered.

She thought back to Tara's sweet cries from the night before. Wordless moans and little sighs, and her name moaned again and again. Willow grinned despite herself and her worry. It was different from what she usually got from Ken. Loud cursing tended to disturb the neighbours. She couldn't think about Kennedy, not now. Not with Tara in her bed, Tara filling all her senses. She could still taste Tara on her lips, still smell her skin; still feel her soft curvy body.

But Tara, something in her had never stopped missing her, or mourning her. And now it was like something inside her soul had snapped back into place.

Unless of course Tara had left. She looked around for the shopping bags, finding nothing she began to panic. She stepped into the shower, letting the hot water run over her body soothingly.

As she dressed she played events from the previous night over and over in her mind. Had she done something terribly wrong? Had someone told Tara what she'd been? That she'd killed?

BBB

Later that day with her nerves having hit an all time high, she locked herself in the bathroom and filled the tub with very hot water. Maybe if she soaked for a while, she'd calm down.

She climbed into the large old-fashioned claw foot tub, stretching out and attempting to block out her brain with the sensation of hot water on her skin. It was still light out, it was probably around noon at the latest. Willow closed her eyes. She practised in her head, _Tara I need to tell you, we need to talk. I'm different now and..._

The clicking of the lock shook her out of her hot water-inspired daze.

"Will?" It was Tara's voice calling her, "Willow?"

She heard a muttered word in Latin and the previously locked bathroom door swung open. It was definitely Tara. She stood there for a moment, contemplating and then smiled locking the bathroom door once again. And began stripping off her clothes as quickly as possible. Her skirt falling to the floor, other clothing following suit as she stepped towards the tub. Breaking eye contact only to lean down and slip her feet out of her shoes.

From out in the hallway she heard the muffled sound of Giles cursing and puttering around making tea.

"Tara we have to talk." Willow began the speech she'd been practicing all day in her head. The naked Tara in front of her was starting to impede her thought processes and she stopped.

"Later," Tara sighed, her voice sad, "What I really need now is to be held, okay?" And she cautiously stepped into the tub, lowering herself down between Willow's legs. She leaned her head back to rest against the redhead's shoulder as they adjusted to rest comfortably like this. She sighed contentedly, and Willow knew then she couldn't ruin this moment even though her knees were getting cold, now exposed to the cool air.

Her arms went around Tara instantly, holding her close. She tried to remember if they'd ever done this before. She didn't think so. The bathtub at Buffy's was too small as she recalled. She'd done this with Ken, at one of her big houses in big bathtubs. But that had been about sex. And she'd been the small spoon in that situation.

This, Willow thought, wasn't about sex. Even as she ran her hands up Tara's body starting at her thighs. Light touches, she wasn't really going anywhere with them.

"Mmmm." Tara sighed contentedly, "I was right, exactly what I needed."

"What's that?"  
"You. My Willow." Tara tipped her head back to be kissed, and Willow didn't resist for long. The kiss was nothing like last night, it was slow and languid.

Tara smiled and rested in her arms once again.

"Tara..." Willow started again. Surely they could talk while they soaked.

"I really had the worst day Willow, please. I know we need to talk, but can it wait?"

"Yeah. It can wait." Willow pressed her lips to Tara's forehead.

"Rosa rubicundior lilio candidior omnibus formosior semper in te glorior" Tara muttered sleepily, the hot water beginning to make both witches more relaxed.

"What's that?"  
"Just a poem."

"Willow?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you know its really me? I figured you'd ask me a zillion questions and you've been kinda quiet."

"I knew it was you as soon as I touched you. I can feel it."

"So no questions? Buffy asked me a few."

"What did Buffy ask?" Willow shifted slightly, her arms closing around Tara more firmly. She couldn't believe how good it felt just to hold Tara, had it always felt this good?

"Oh things we both knew, like my birthday or when I found out she was sleeping with Spike." Tara ran her fingers along Willow's legs, stopping to tickle her knees.

"I could do way better then that if I were going to interrogate you." Willow teased.

"Why? What would you ask?" Tara asked her playfully.

"Hmm." Willow felt a game coming on, "Well I could ask you what you like to call me..."  
"Other than Willow?" Tara joked a little, "Sweetie, darling, honey...Willow-tree...Baby of course." Tara searched her brain for the various mushy nicknames she liked to give her lover.

"Hmm too easy." Willow paused purposefully the next step in their game.

"Hmm something only we know." Tara tipped her head back for another slow kiss, but Willow ignored her silent request.

"First place we ever made love?"  
"Other than my dorm?" Tara paused, "The couch in your parents' house during our first summer together. Well you made love to me on the couch anyways- then I dragged you off to your room."

"I remember. You were so afraid that my parents would come home and catch us." Willow smiled as the memory of cajoling a nervous Tara to make love on the couch came to mind. They way she'd leaned in close while they were watching some movie and began to steer their cuddling into a less clothed direction.

"And you were oddly reluctant to do it in your bed."

"Heheh. Yeah well. What movie was it?" Willow thought up a way to change the subject quickly.

Tara laughed, her voice going a little lower remembering the passion, "Would you remember the movie if it had been me trying to sneak my hand up your skirt?"

"No. I don't even remember it really, I think it might have been an action movie. I think we left it playing when we ran off to my room though. Cause remember when we were in bed –well on the bed and we heard that weird noise? Like a muffled explosion?"

"That sounds vaguely familiar." Tara's tone had returned to teasing, "Maybe I should interrogate you..."

Finally, as the water got cold, the two witches reluctantly climbed out of the bathtub. And towel-clad returned to Giles' guest bedroom.

"Ok, let's do this." Tara said, starting to towel herself off.

"I missed you so much." Willow blurted out. It wasn't what she meant to say. But that's what came spouting out of her mouth.

"Willow I can't even believe I was dead. I don't remember it. All I have is this scar." Tara let the towel fall, bringing her hand to rest on the quarter-sized circular scar on her breast. "Every time I start believing this is all some horrible dream I feel it, and I know I was dead."

Willow's fingers went to the scar. "That's where. That's where the bullet went through. I remember it. I couldn't stop it. I've done such horrible things since you've been gone. And if you had any idea-"

"Will I don't remember it. All I remember is us, making love and then there's blood on your shirt and then I'm squatting outside naked wondering how the hell I got there and there's Buffy acting really weird. And everything's different, and its 2005 and I can't understand why and I feel so out of place."

"So you don't know? You're not remembering heaven or being torn out or some god or goddess-y being bringing you back?"

"No. I don't remember anything about it. Buffy told me about the being brought back part. Apparently it was really gross to watch."

"Gross as in? What? Zombies? Reanimation? Walking dead? Flashing lights and crazy demons and torn out of heaven?"

"Being rebuilt from the inside out."

"Eww. But how does that work. Was it magic?"

"I guess it must have been, but it would have to be way beyond anything you or I could ever manage."

"I guess it really doesn't manage how it worked, because you have to know." Emotion filled Willow's voice. "There's so much I have to tell you."

"Ok." Tara nodded, and waited. She knew it was time to talk.

"You died and I couldn't take it. I lost it Tara. I did terrible things. Things you couldn't ever-" Willow's voice broke; this was so much harder than she ever thought.

"No Willow. Not you." Tara embraced her, pulling her close. She attempted to comfort Willow as best she could, but she was shaking uncontrollably.

Willow sobbed slightly, "But you died, and I went totally crazy. Not just crazy-crazy, or sobbing-crazy, but veiny-head killing people crazy. I killed the man who shot you, I hurt my friends, and I tried to destroy the world. How can you understand that? How can you be okay with everything I've done?"

"What I remember is you. I know I died in your arms, Willow. I don't remember it, but I know it." Tara responded, voice filling with emotion. "I wouldn't have wanted to have died any other way."

"You shouldn't have died at all, it should have been me. You should never have died. I can't take it." Willow sobbed.

"Hey, I'm here? Darling? Willow?" Tara kissed her forehead pulling her in closer, both towels and getting dressed forgotten. "I need you. This isn't easy for me. I love you and I need you."

With both of them overcome with emotion it was too easy for crying and clinging to evolve into another kind of comfort. Already locked in an amorous embrace, Willow tried to extricate herself from it, but as soon as she did Tara stopped her.

"I need this Willow." Tara whispered in her ear, "I don't want to think, all I want is to feel you."  
Willow knew she couldn't say no, so she said nothing. And she did exactly as Tara asked. If she needed to make love to feel better, Willow would give her exactly that.


	6. Turn and Face the Strange

June 13th, 2005- Location: Somewhere in London, England

Afterwards they lay in bed. Just staring, staring at everything. Both afraid to speak, just to stay holding each other like this. It was still light out.

Tara wasn't sure what to say, if she could ask things. There was so much she wanted to ask. If they were going to slip back into each other's lives there was a lot of sharing that had to happen.

"Your hair's gotten so long." Tara remarked as she played with a strand of long red hair.

"I let it grow. Its kinda traditional. The coven, the one Giles took me to, some of them have some serious hair. I mean hair down really really long. These women were amazing with magic, but they'd always have all this hair." Willow knew she had barely cut her hair since Tara died. She had avoided it. And she was currently lying next to the reason.

"My mom did too." Tara giggled, "It got so long sometimes she used to sit on it by accident. And she only ever cut it herself-""-And then she burnt it." Willow finished. With a dazzling look-what-I-know smile.

"You really did learn a lot more about Wicca." Tara smiled, rolling on to her side to get a better look at Willow. "The hair thing is more of a superstition than anything though."

"They were all scared of me, the coven. Not so much anymore though. I visited them about six months ago. And not so bad. Very few looks of terror. I think they're starting to like me." Willow finished off brightly.

"Tell me something that happened? Did you finish your degree? What happened to Xander and Anya? What about Dawnie?"

"Dawn finished high school, went to university and became a centaur. I never did finish, just with Sunnydale literally falling into hell and all the craziness finishing my degree kind of went on the backburner. You finished yours though- they kinda awarded it posthumously. And Anya died. Oh, and she was a vengeance demon again. But not in that order." Willow blurted out all at once.

"Oh. A centaur?" Tara was stuck on 'centaur', "Really?"

"Long story."

"But how?"

"Her boyfriend was a thricewise, we think it might be because she slept with him."

"But she's not even sixteen."

"She's eighteen."

"Right. Dead three years." Tara turned away hugging her arms to her chest, she wanted comfort right now more than anything.

Willow seemed to sense her need and pulled her closer, "It'll be okay. You just got back these things take time." She placed gentle kisses on Tara's shoulder. Could she call it getting back? Was that making light of it? What the hell should she do?

"I wish I believed that." Tara stopped trying to hide her feeling of impending doom. Willow would figure out sooner or later anyways.

"You can."

"I can't Will, this is all too much for me."

Willow took a moment to really look at Tara. Its not like coming back from the dead happens every day. "Tara." Willow's voice was full of love, what else could she say.

"I'm barely holding it together. I don't know where I fit in anymore. Everything is so different."

"You fit. You and me, we always fit." Willow grinned slightly, easing closer to Tara, "See?"

"I'm not kidding around here," Tara paused briefly, "Are you using magic again?"

"Tara... its not like it used to be. I'm in control of it. And-"

"That would be a yes." Tara remained quiet for several moments, Willow stroking the smooth skin on her back. The pale blue cotton sheets pooled around their feet.

"You're...Are you mad at me?" Willow spooned closer to Tara's back. Even if Tara was mad at her, this was still the best 'gift' she'd ever been given. Heck, part of her didn't care if Tara moved halfway across the planet as long as she was alive.

"I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. I mean I have to be careful with it. And I am. Well mostly. And I'm helpful this way. But... well if you could see what I can do-" Willow paused; she knew that Tara would be terrified by her power. Even diminished now- no more teleporting, or miraculously healing herself or flying or channelling power through other people. Still it would frighten her.

"When did you start again?"

"Pretty much right after you..." Willow let herself trail off, it felt so weird to say it with Tara lying right here in her arms."After I died. You can say it."

"You died and I- I snapped. And magic was the first thing I reached for."

"You said you killed people." Tara's voice didn't convey any emotion.

"Yes. The guy who shot you- and he didn't even stay dead. I mean it doesn't change that I killed him, I mean I'm just as guilty but...I wish...You...right?"

"Sort of. Who killed me?"

"Warren."

"Oh." Tara couldn't really think of anything else to say. "You mean creepy robot-love-slave building Warren? That Warren?" she was slightly surprised.

"That's the one. He didn't die so well though. And he's not happy with me these days with a lack of skin."

"Lack of skin?" Tara asked apprehensively her eyes going wide.

"My doing."

Tara remained silent for several long moments. All of this was so hard to accept. And she couldn't just stop loving Willow or pull away, but the things she'd done... "All this time and you're still fighting the evil nerd squad?"

"No Jonathan's dead, and Andrew-well it's a long story. We've moved on to new and increasingly terrifying nemeses. As usual."

"Oh. With magic?"

"Mostly."

"You don't even have your laptop anymore."

"Yeah. It fell into Hell with the rest of Sunnydale. I got a new one- but I think I left it in Brazil."

"You've been to Brazil?."

"Yeah was there for a while actually." Willow purposely left out who she was there with. She didn't want to tell Tara that. She was too worried about her reaction. And she was single now so why bother?

"Wow. I was wondering do you want to do a bit of shopping later?"

"Didn't you do that with Buffy?"

"A little, but I'm going to need a bit more stuff. And a suitcase."

"Sure...does this mean I have to put clothes on?" Willow curled up against Tara pressing her bare alabaster skin against Tara's.

"Wait- Sunnydale fell into HELL?"

BBB

Buffy had spent the morning evaluating and sparring with Giles' team of ten slayers.

They had all been on edge when they had found out that it would be Buffy who was training them that day. Xander had come along to assist.

Although Buffy was distracted, she had taken down each of the other slayers easily. They were not up to snuff. She doubted that any of them could take out a vampire on her own, much less two. They depended too much on each other. Buffy sighed; they'd only ever tag-teamed vampires in groups. They'd never had the independent fighting that Buffy had had to learn to accomplish. And they were weaker for it. Even three of them couldn't take down Buffy.

She'd suspected for some time that their large slayer teams; though effective had side effects other than whining, malcontent slayers.

Her plan. Although she'd yet to share it- was to split off into smaller groups of one or two; making them less vulnerable- less easy to find and hopefully more independent fighters.

"A slayer should be able to hold her own against another." Buffy lectured the group, damn they looked so young. The youngest, Giles had told her was only 13. Still looked like a child- Buffy picked her out easily in the group. She was too young.

One of the slayers, a young one with dark hair spoke up, "But we can fight better together." Her English was stilted and accented, but Buffy couldn't place the accent.

"I fought alone, well mostly alone. Not usually with another slayer anyway. Have any of you ever taken down a vamp alone?"

A few hands went up in the group.

"Okay what about 2 or 3 vamps?"

The young slayers deadpanned, this was going to be harder than she thought.

"If you don't learn how to get it done alone you are going to die." Buffy said it simply. "Hell even if you don't you are going to die. What do you think being the slayer means?"

Her audience looked kinda scared out of their minds, for the most part. Buffy smiled inwardly, at least she knew these girls were sane. "And now the training begins."

BBB

"Wow Buffy, you really scared the crap out of those girls...is that part of your plan for success? Having them quiver in fear?" Xander commented as he watched the girls dart from the training room.

"What about you? Mr Stand-Around-And-Leer-With-An-Eyepatch?"

"I'll have you know that pirates are in this year. Doubly sexy even, after that movie."

"What movie?"

"You really need to get out more Buffy. When was the last time you were on a movie date?"

"Date?" Buffy deadpanned him. "That's not important now, what is important now is that we figure out a way to get each of these girls working independently with a Watcher- like I was...in pairs if we have to."

"Buffy you can't let your life be merely all slay-tactics and strategy, you need to have a life too."

"Well what do you suggest I do?"

"We could go catch a movie. I still have my handy-tourist map. I'm sure we can find a movie theatre. Kill some more time."

"We should probably get back to Giles' place. He might be worried about us by now."

"My sense of direction is fine. Unlike my depth perception. But it's a trade-off for the sexy pirate look." Xander struck a pose, making Buffy double over in laughter.

"Well I'd kinda like to see Will. And Tara too of course. You know its been a while since I've gotten to see Willow like that. You know all happy and just for a social call."

"Yeah." Xander got a distracted look in his eyes, as they made their way out of the training room, locking the door to it and continuing out of the building.

They paused, "You think-" Buffy stopped her sentence, when she saw Xander shake his head briefly. It was raining again.

Not like rain was that dangerous, Buffy reasoned and they walked out into it. Complaining slightly about the rain on the two block walk to the nearest subway station.

"You know what I don't get? Why do they call it the Tube? I mean isn't subway much more descriptive. And tube? Tube for what? Makes me think of minty toothpaste."

Xander gave her a look, then broke into laughter.

"You know, I'm surprised you opted for the hotel last night?"

"Why? You opted for it."

"Well with Tara back, and Willow and her in that apartment with thin walls..."

"Yeah well. I guess I just wanted to get some sleep."

"I suppose sitting up late choking your 'parrot' wasn't what you had in mind then."

"No...I don't think so." Xander grinned sheepishly.

"Poor Giles..." Buffy pouted, "Those walls are thin."

"Yeah...having to listen to two beautiful women..." Xander glazed over. Buffy glared. "Right...yeah poor Giles" Xander agreed half-heartedly.

Giles at this moment was on the phone,

"No I don't think you understand Nigel."

He paused in his conversation for the response, "I know its not an easy Master's program... yes I am aware its June. But there are circumstances..." Willow and Tara, fully dressed, suddenly appeared from the bedroom, Tara looking a little shaken with Willow more or less holding her up,

"Hey Giles, we're just going out for a while; we need to get some air-"

Giles smiled, nodded and pointed at the phone, he waited until the witches had left, "Tara Maclay, has a BA in Folklore and Mythology- fluent in Latin. Emphasis on Classics. And she's interested in the program when I suggested it to her earlier."

Giles paused again before added irritable, "Student Visa? Nigel, we both know you could pull the strings..."

Giles' irritation gradually faded, and he even began to smile, obviously the person on the other end of the phone was being more co-operative.

"Yes. I have the forms. I can have them to you by the end of the week... Thank you."

Giles hung up the phone with a click.

His mission was successful. Tara had only had to suggest maybe going back to school would make things easier, for him to begin to make the series of calls. His connections weren't as great as they had been a few years ago but they were still substantial.

Giles smiled to himself. When Tara had mentioned in passing that she thought she might like to go back to school; he had offered to help immediately. He hadn't expected her interest, but he supposed it made sense.

With any luck he could get both of them out of his flat in the process. They literally made love for most of their waking hours, and these were sounds he had never wanted to associate with what he thought of his children.

It had been years since he'd lost himself in passion like that. And he really needed some quiet nights. He wouldn't mind so much if the witches in question were on their vacation manners, but in the heat of the moment these things were forgotten.


	7. Unravelling

June 20th 2005; Slayers headquarters Scotland

Buffy and Giles waved from the station platform as the train pulled out of the station towards Scotland. Tara stared wistfully out the window absentmindedly stroking Willow's hand. Xander sat across from them trying not to stare at their hands. Willow sighed to herself. Even though Tara was still holding her hand she knew that Tara was still uncomfortable. She had been especially quiet ever since she had caught Willow using magic to close the curtains. They were just curtains. They don't have to close themselves Tara had said. Still the train ride wasn't so bad. She saw Tara's moony face reflected in the glass of the window and smiled to herself. She gave Tara's hand a squeeze, even if Tara was mad at her, she was still warm and alive...and withholding the smoochies.

Tara squeezed back. She knew what Willow did was awful. But somehow it just didn't sink in. Willow had been in terrible pain; surely that was an extenuating circumstance. And she loved Willow; she could get her through this. She wouldn't leave because of this.

Xander tried very much not to think of what other delicious things those hands must do.

"So...either of you ever been to Scotland before? The haggis is to die for." Xander said jovially with just a touch of nervousness.

"Xander! Just...just eww."

"Careful Will, you sound like Cordy, you wouldn't want that now would you?"

"You do know what's in haggis...right?" Tara said.

"Err....Not really" Xander shrugged.

"He's better off not knowing baby." Willow planted a kiss on Tara's smooth cheek.

"I don't know what it is about a witch that is so...intriguing" Xander chuckled.

"Is it the fact that I could turn you into something creepy crawly?' Willow said hopefully.

"It's just I can understand giving up the slayer stamina for the enchanting powers of a witch." He was so desperate to say something, anything that he wasn't quite thinking about what he was saying. "Not that I've ever been with a witch."

"Slayer...."? Tara gave her a questioning look. But at least she was looking at her, Willow consoled herself.

"Yeah...Kennedy, don't worry, we've transferred her to Japan...that girl had an attitude issue. No offense Will."

"Y-you...and..." Tara didn't finish her sentence; she just looked stonily at the floor.

Willow glared at Xander. Not like this, please not like this she thought frantically and hopelessly.

"Oh Tara...it's not like that...I mean it is like that-no, was! It was like that, but not like it is with you!" Willow panicked. "You know I love you, don't you? And--and in all fairness you were dead."

"I know." Tara whispered, leaning her cheek against the glass. "You were...bound to...love..."

"Love is a strong word" Xander chimed in. "Kennedy was more...keeping your girl warm at night, right Will?"

"Not helping Xander!"

"Tara...please. Don't be mad at me?" Willow was making her big sad eyes at Tara.

"I-I'm not mad Willow...I just need to think about things, okay?"

"Okay."

Willow looked over the top of her book looking worriedly at her lover. Tara leaned her head against the glass of the window, a couple silent tears making their way down her face. Xander busied himself with going through his entire knapsack trying to avoid hearing this personal conversation. For his liking, they couldn't get there soon enough.

BBB

"I didn't know you could cook." Buffy smiled over the counter at Giles who was busying himself in the kitchen.

"My skills aren't limited to making tea and eating scones Buffy."

"Well I was going to go with slaying demons and reading old books and stuff, but we can go with scones, scones are yummy."

"You're in a good mood Buffy..."

"Or covering up a bad one incredibly well."

"What could possibly have you in a bad mood? Your wish didn't backfire. Your friends seem happy. Evil seems to be giving you a day off. My slayers are rapidly improving."

"I killed Willow."

"What?" Giles looked at Buffy in confusion, unless he was very much mistaken Willow was very much alive and on her way to Scotland.

"Not Willow-Willow. Future-Willow. When I got sucked into the future."

"But Buffy, you were over 200 years in the future how could Willow possibly? Oh. Oh dear." Giles stirred the pot of rice currently simmering on the stove. He might as well keep cooking.

"Yeah. Veiny-Dark-Evil-Miraculously-Ageless-Willow. And I had to kill her Giles. I had to. She was going to- well we never really found out exactly what she wanted other than me dead."

"Oh."

"The wish was a reward for killing her." Buffy finally admitted

"Oh." Giles seemed to have lost his vast vocabulary temporarily, "That's why you chose to bring back Tara- you wanted to prevent that future."

"I just hope it works. I could have got some pretty sweet stuff with that wish. Can't you just tell me it will work and it will all be okay?"

"I'm afraid I can't."

"I know."

BBB

It was later sitting around in Xander's workshop that Willow first began to feel some seriously impending doom. Tara was upstairs in the large kitchen helping 5 slayers make a rather impressive smelling dinner. The large house; Xander jokingly called it a castle- but it wasn't quite big enough. Still it was made of stone and had a turret. Xander had let her and Tara claim one of the nicer empty rooms. At least Tara was still in her bed. They hadn't bothered to unpack though, simply tossed their suitcases on the bed and rushed to their present activities.

"Did you have to tell her, like that?"

"Were you going to? You know I think maybe, hey I was with someone else for 2 years might make it into conversation in 8 days." Xander said as he measured the wood for his project. It was so entertaining that he kept making furniture.

"It was off and on- It wasn't... I was totally scared of telling her. But did you have to?"

"No. I shouldn't have. But you should. You have to talk about it Will."

"I tried. You saw it. Tara doesn't want to talk. She won't even admit she's upset."

"Maybe she's not?" Xander suggested.

"Don't be ridiculous. But I mean comparing to trying to end the world this is small stuff. Right?"

"Too true." Xander continued his work on the chair he was building.

"Hello?" Tara's voice called down the stairs, "You guys going to come eat anytime soon?"

BBB

After dinner, this was filled with slayers boasting and joking around. None of them seemed to know who Tara was. And it made sense. She'd apparently rarely been mentioned. As if she was completely irrelevant.

Tara had heard them whispering that she was Willow's new girlfriend and 'damn that girl moves fast'. And other stupid lesbian jokes.

She had corrected Rowena in this when the young slayer had asked her when her and Willow had met, and she'd responded "Sunnydale University." Giving her the impression she was an old flame of Willow's here on a booty call. It was insulting, but Tara made no move to correct them. If they didn't know who she was it wasn't the end of the world. Besides they had decided to keep the back from the dead thing as quiet as possible.

They weren't even discrete about their whisperings, as young teenagers usually aren't. But in a house full of eight slayers; what could she really expect.

She returned to their room to find Willow had unpacked all of their collective belongings, and was resting in cute pink pajamas on the bed.

"Hey, you did the unpacking." Tara smiled.

"I had some neurotic free-time. And Xander told me I had to stop cleaning things."

"Thanks. I was just getting to know the slayers."

"What do you think?"

"They're...interesting? And possibly suffering from superhero complexes."

"They're teenagers." Willow rolled her eyes, "Well mostly teenagers."

"They think I'm your booty-call!"

"Look I'm really sorry about Ken..."

"I don't want to talk about Ken."

"Well when are we going to talk about it?" Willow asked.

"I'm tired."

"Fine."

A lengthy silence followed.

Tara changed quickly and throwing on a nightgown. Willow didn't even bother to watch her change. She remembered when Willow would watch her; it became less frequent as their relationship went on. But she wasn't even glimpsing.

"Is this okay?" Tara asked timidly, crawling up on to the bed to rest beside her.

"Yeah. I mean of course- its fine. Why wouldn't it be fine?"

"Calm down sweetie." Tara leaned over to wrap her arm around Willow, rubbing her tummy. At once comforting and vaguely possessive.

"I'm calm-ish." Willow answered unconvincingly.

Tara sighed, and she stopped her rubbing, but left her arm across Willow. "You don't have to feel guilty. I was dead. You were a free-agent."

"I know I was. Which is why there's nothing wrong-well not nothing wrong. But it's-well..." Willow gave up on the severely mangled sentence, and let herself simply drift off. "Wanna snuggle?" Willow whispered conspiratorially. But Tara rolled over facing away from her.

"Why the heck? Tara are you really that upset? Baby don't- please don't shut me out."

"I'm not upset. I don't really have the right to be upset I was dead."

"Well totally, it's not rational. Not really. But-"

"I know. Which is why this is so hard." Tara finally got it out. She just felt so guilty for all of this, "Emotions aren't rational Willow, I'm sorry. But I'm upset."

"I just don't get it. I try to destroy the world, I killed and I hurt people. And you're all warm and comforting and everything I don't deserve and you're mad because I had sex with a couple other women?"

"There were two?"

"Tara...baby...I..."

"Willow, c-can we just not talk right now?"

"I'm sorry Tara...I can't sleep here, not like this." With that Willow got out of bed in her pajamas, walked down the hall. She did a special knock on the second door on the left.

"Willow… no…" Tara tried in vain to stop Willow from leaving. But she did anyways. It was going to be a long night.

There were very little spare rooms here at headquarters. But Willow knew there was someone else she could count on to stay with. She knocked on the door. "Xander it's me."

Xander answered the door in blue boxer shorts and a t-shirt that he was just pulling on over his head.

"Either this is an extremely ill-timed erotic dream...or judging by lack of Tara and lingerie..." Xander stopped in his tracks at the evil eye he was getting. "You and Tara have a fight huh?"

"Yeah...but it's not a normal fight-fight, it's one of those cold-fights. Tara doesn't get loud and angry, so...she can stay cold-mad and pretend nothing is wrong. It can go on for days."

"Was it the killing people thing?"

"Actually it was the majicks and the me sleeping with other women thing."

"Well my king-size bed is your king-size bed."

They lay there silently in the dark, comfortable in their familiar camaraderie.

"It's nice having her back...but I'm not getting any loving'"

"Will- you know you can talk to me about anything, but you might want to reconsider talking to me about that thing."

"Why won't she talk to me about it?"

"Well...sometimes...when someone gets jealous maybe it's because they're afraid they don't...you know measure up."

"Was that like you with Spike and Anya?"

"Oh no I have him beat."

"As a lover?"

"By an inch and a half"

"Xander! Eww!" Willow thumped him with an overlarge pillow as she giggled. "Somehow I don't think the problem can be solved by both Tara and Kennedy dropping their pants."

"Yes we men folk are simple. Hit with stick. Fondle the bosoms. Measure the schlongs."

"I just...I need to find a way to show Tara what she means to me...I mean at first with Ken...I was thinking about Tara when we-"

"Will, do you really want to finish that sentence?"

"I guess not."

"I don't know Will- I don't think there's a way for Tara to just look inside your head and see that she's all that's going on in there."

"Hrm maybe....Hey bosom-fondling isn't just a guy thing! I do that too!"

"Kinda figured with the whole 'gay now' thing and all."

"Hehe bosoms."

And with that the pair slipped into a very deep and comfortable sleep.

BBBB

That morning, for the first morning in a long time Willow woke up next to a man. Unfortunately it was not a one-time occurrence. For the next four nights, despite Tara's half-hearted attempts to get Willow back into the same bed, Willow and Xander were still bunking together. Which made Tara even more withdrawn, despite being entirely platonic.

There was work to be done here, slayers were always training. And there were plenty of books for research and computers.

Most unfortunately it was causing the young slayers (little pervy killing machines) to keep their heads in the gutter. The whispers were almost more than Tara could bear.

She heard them gossiping early in the morning, they must see things, coming back at all hours from patrolling.

"Can you believe that Willow?"

"Did you hear she's spending her nights in Xander's room?"

"Threesome action baby!" One of the slayers quipped, putting away the weapons from her slaying the night before. She shot her friends a devious look and a smile.

Oh my god...you're such a pervert." The last slayer in the group giggled.

"Well what else would they be doing? Swapping beds in the middle of the night?" The pervy slayer responded.

That evening Willow knocked on Tara's door

"Can I come in?" Willow said hopefully.

"Sure...if you want." Tara opened the door.

'Look Tara...I...we...can we just talk for a second?" Willow was pacing around by the window.

"I guess."

"You know there's nothing going on with me and Xander right? Well obviously." Willow managed a smile and rolled her eyes.

'I-I know...but they think."

"Tara who gives a damn what they think?"

"I do!"

"It's not like we can tell them that you are the love of my life, who, by the way, was recently brought back from the dead! We need to keep that quiet."

"I know..."

"You know I love you. You know there were two other women, and you know that it doesn't mean nearly as much to me as being with you. It's in the past, its over."

'I know...I just...and the magic."

"Call the coven if you want, talk to them, they can tell you about my 'rehabilitation' if that will really make you feel better. They're nice, they'd love you. Anyways, I can control it, and if I can't...well...Buffy promises to make it quick."

"Willow!" Tara cried in shock, at hearing her beloved talk so easily of death.

The pause in conversation was somewhat inevitable.

"How...do I know that they weren't....better?" Tara asked quietly.

"Tara, believe me, even looking at you gets me more excited than they ever could. It didn't compare, okay?"

"But how could you- devalue yourself like that, making love to a woman you… don't…?"

"It was just sex. Well not just sex- sex is great. And Kennedy and I dated for a while. But sex is-it's nothing."

"So when you are with me? When you touch me that's nothing? It's not like you Will. You love. You don't just…"

"Tara! Just...just tell me what to say to make it better." Tara just stared back at her in wordless silence. "Is it about them? The slayers? Because we can tell them that you are my college girlfriend and we're back together if that'll make you feel better."

"Could you just...leave me alone for a while?"

"Yes...I can do that." Willow turned to go. As she closed the door, she turned back. "I love you, you know."

Later that night Willow tossed and turned as Xander sawed logs peacefully beside her. She saw the door open and a figure walk towards them. The figure leaned right over her, pressing into her skin through the blankets. She felt a familiar hand in hers, felt the hot breath of Tara in her ear as she whispered. "Come back to bed sweetie."

Willow got up and the two witches walked hand in hand back to Tara's room. Willow thought briefly that this wouldn't do anything for the rumor mill they had going here, but at least Tara wanted her back in her bed. As she pulled back the covers she suddenly felt Tara's arms tighten around her. She was pressing fully against her back. Abruptly nuzzling into her hair, her hot breath against her neck. She felt the familiar stirrings of arousal; the heat rapidly rising in her body. They hadn't even kissed yet, but it wouldn't be long now. Tara always managed to turn her on rather quickly...given that all she really had to do was exist.

Tara was placing hot kisses along Willow's neck and ears, one arm firmly grasping her waist, while the other arm slipped under Willow's pajamas to cup her breasts. Willow sighed...it had been far too long since Tara had touched her. In an uncharacteristic rush, Tara dropped her hand from Willow's waist to cup the heat between her thighs. Willow knew she was already wet, had been since Tara pulled her out of Xander's bed.

Tara smiled into the back of her neck, moaning appreciatively pressing Willow more tightly against her.

Her head lolled back against Tara's shoulder, which was now- Willow was not too surprised to note -bare. Tara quickly removed Willow's top and turned her around to kiss her mouth hard. The passion was overwhelming, Tara's tongue darting out seeking entrance to her mouth. But it reeked of possession, ownership. Tara's arms wrapping around her tightly and pushing her backwards onto the bed. Tara's hands seemed to be everywhere all at once, groping insistently.

Willow felt several more articles of clothing fall to the floor. She felt hands caress her in the most private of regions, still stroking her wet heat, Tara pulled back to look at her. Her eyes were dark, hungry and she groaned at the sight.

"How do you want me? You want me on my knees?" The spicy-talk came flowing out of her lover's mouth with confidence. Willow just moaned in response, she'd never been really good at talking dirty; then again neither was Tara.

For a few minutes, they moved in the dark, kissing, groaning but not speaking. Then Willow was sitting on the edge of the bed. She pulled the drawstring on Tara's pajama pants and they cascaded to the floor pooling around her feet. Tara started kissing down Willow's lithe frame, her hands pushing Willow's thighs apart as her mouth left a trail down her neck and bosom, as she felt Tara's mouth pass her midriff a wave of realization went over her. This wasn't right. This wasn't like Tara.

"Tara- Wait, stop." Tara's mouth dared lower...

"Let me- let me take you." Tara breathed, hands still caressing her skin.

"No. Stop."

"Do you really want me to stop?" Tara mumbled against Willow's hip.

"Tara...could you maybe...just hold me right now?"

Tara stood up, looking slightly guilty, "You don't want me?"

"Not...not like this, not when you're trying to prove something. I'm yours Tara, you don't need to prove it to me, and you don't need to win me. You have me" Willow planted a chaste kiss on Tara's shoulder. Tara pulled on her pants and reached for her shirt. She noticed that Willow was watching and gave a half smile.

Tara planted a kiss on Willow's mouth, and the two crawled into bed. Lying there in Tara's arms Willow felt that she was back where she was supposed to be...if only she could get Tara to see that. And sure, she had to get to sleep turned on as heck. But she could feel Tara breathing. And for the moment that was enough.

BBB

July 1st, 2005

"Giles, I need to get going."

"One second," Giles handed his slayers small envelopes, "Here is slayer-allowance for the next month. Buffy will give you your next increments."

He watched the two girls climb on the train, laughing and joking with each other. Obviously pleased to be reassigned, even temporarily to Buffy's or Xander's squad.

"So. I guess this is it for a while, huh?" Buffy looked at Giles.

"Here" Giles handed Buffy a much thicker envelope, it was addressed simply to Tara Maclay.

"Why are you giving this to me?"

"Give it to Tara when you see her, it's important."

"Alright. Well, uh bye." Buffy hugged Giles briefly before letting go and making her way to the platform.

"Buffy?"

"Yes?"

"Give me a call when you get in."

And Buffy smiled.

BBB

"Hey Will, hey Tara- oh Giles said this came for you." Buffy handed Tara the package.

"Thanks Buffy." Tara eyed the package, before retreating upstairs to her room to open it alone.

Willow looked from Buffy to Willow.

"What's in there?"

"Something for her from Giles." Buffy shrugged. "I didn't really think much about it."

Buffy and Willow exchanged a glance, before Willow seemed to make an internal decision.

"Tara?" Willow called, rushing up the stairs after her lover.

She found Tara sitting on the bed, papers spread out over the comforter. But she wasn't looking happy, she was looking very unsure.

"Tara?" Willow asked again.

"I was hoping...now that it's here. This is what I wanted you know...to be like Mr. Giles."

"You want to be a watcher?"

"No I want to be a librarian."

"A librarian? Isn't that sort of the same thing?"

"Well, I always knew it would either be museum work or library archives. And Giles had connections at one of the universities here. He got me into a Master's program."

"You're leaving me? Again?" Willow felt like she was going to burst into tears.

"I am not leaving you." Tara stood up, trying to grab Willow's hands, but she pushed them away.

"Well going away, going to be living somewhere else in..." Willow paused to read the forms, "City University London. So London. Because going to London isn't leaving me at all. It's not even in the same country Tara!"

"I just…just wanted to have something to do. I always planned on grad school, you knew that."

"Yeah but that was- well we would have done it together. Well you would have done it a year before me, but still."

"I know. But it's been so hard. And maybe having something to keep me busy will help. And Masters of Library and Information Science might keep me busy. I don't know. I need something."

"There's -things to keep you busy. There's slaying, and researching- and there's me." Willow tried to console her.

"Willow. I am not leaving you. I just need to have something outside the slaying. I don't want it to take up my whole life."

"You're becoming a librarian. That's practically Watcher-school."

"Well the deal is I do work for Mr. Giles for a year after I finish. I mean he is helping out."

"Helping out how?"

"Paying. Finding me an apartment near the university. It's all here." Tara gestured at the papers.

Willow looked at them and then looked at Tara, "But it's in London."

"Xander said you were pretty much gone most of the time. I don't want to sit around waiting for you with nothing to do, and no money- how do you expect me to support myself?"

"Well yeah- but that was off learning how to strengthen my magicks and with Kennedy and – I got sucked in by something out there. It's over now. I guess I just figured I'd stay here and help. Buffy is the travelling one. I just teleport. Well did. Can't anymore after-" Willow realized immediately after what she said when she saw the look on Tara's face.

"Teleport? You teleport? Willow!" She accused her. So readily. And damn did it ever hurt.

"I can't anymore. Just get nose bleeds. Remember that day you walked into the kitchen and my nose was bleeding?"

"You said you hit it on something."

"Well… it felt like I did?" Willow suggested hopefully.

"Willow." She sobbed.

"When I went on… well whatever you want to call it. I met this snake demon thing. Called Saga Vasuki. I was her student. And my magic- it was amazing Tara the things I could do. But when I cut ties with her I lost it. The magic I mean."

"You were addicted again."

"Maybe."

"A demon Will? You fight demons; you don't make buddy-buddy to improve your skills."

"She fucked me. I nailed her. We shagged- whatever." Willow blurted out.

"What?" Tara whispered, totally aghast.

"I had sex with her. It's what she does with her pupils. The whole coupling to feed off power thing. Or you could sort of think of it as payment...for majicks rendered."

"I've heard of Saga Vasuki before Will, she's like this big snake thing."

"When?"

"Read it the magic shop years ago when we were looking for that giant snake thing."

"You know. I might just remember that a little. I don't know. It's like I wasn't me. Well I was me only… I don't think I can explain it. I think it's because I'm so drawn to majicks."

"Probably is. Was this before or after Kennedy?"

"Umm… concurrently?" Willow felt like hitting her head into the nearest cabinet.

"God Willow...you...you disgust me right now, I need...I need to go away for a while."

"Tara...baby- wait!" But Tara was already across the room throwing things into her suitcase. "I just needed to tell you everything."

"Willow I've had enough, I need some space and some time to think....I'm sorry."

'But...Where will you go?"

"Westbury, to the coven...I've been meaning to go there for quite a while."

"Is...Is this the end of us?"

"Oh Willow." Tara took Willow's face in her hands. "I don't know. I'm sorry, but I really don't know."


	8. Cake

July 16 2005

It had been fifteen days Xander noted. Fifteen days since Buffy's arrival and Tara's departure. On the bright side; Buffy doled out punishments to anyone caught gossiping about Willow's sex life and the sudden departure of Tara. The punishments consisted of extra chores off the rotations and one-on-one sparring with Buffy. On the less than sparkly side; Willow barely got out of bed. Sure, she had managed to get out of bed to do her chores, and some basic protective spell work. At least he had his bed back to himself. Buffy was bunking in with Willow-which happily, squashed many rumours that he'd rather pretend he didn't hear.

"Will, you have to get out of bed" Buffy sat beside Willow on the large bed with one hand on her duvet covered back. Willow seemed to be content to keep her face smushed into the fluffy white pillow.

"Yeah," Xander bounded energetically onto the bed. "The sun is--well okay it's raining, but we have galoshes and a whole lot of Scotland to explore."

"She left me...you brought her back, and she left me"

"She didn't leave you Will...she said she needed time alone to think, and she's off thinking." Buffy tried to console her.

"Yeah...Thinking, not doing sexy naked spells with other witches."

"Xander! Not- Helping." Buffy said through gritted teeth. "Just because she needs some time alone doesn't mean she won't come back."

"Absolutely- any day now she'll come walking through that door...well not literally due to all the damned locks on it, but you know what we mean."

'I don't know you guys...I think, I think I've lost her for good." Willow mumbled from her place on the pillow. She was wearing pink pyjamas.

'Get out of bed Willow, get out of this house- it'll all work itself out, you'll see." Secretly Buffy prayed that she was right.

BBB

Tara was miserable, mostly. The coven was wonderful. They had wanted to assess her magic skills, which was fine by Tara. A lot of the silly things they had her do as part of her assessment reminded her of things she used to do with her mother as a child. And also the beginning of her relationship with Willow.

It was beautiful here. Especially sitting outside surrounded by green grass and huge trees. There wasn't another word for it. And the witches, and the warlocks for that matter, had been nothing but kind to her. Especially after they determined that she was as human and real as the rest of them. They had thousands of books on magic. And they were truly amazing- Willow had been right.

The coven was rather pleased that she had been trained, somewhat. Tara hadn't really thought about her training with her mother as training, but according to coven it was. It had been fun, their little secret. Their games.

She sat outside on the grass, her legs crossed. She looked across at Thea, the witch who had been largely in charge of her assessment and subsequent instruction. Thea regarded her with curiosity, her mostly gray hair pulled back from her face somewhat carelessly, "Tara, you alright?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Its just-"

"You miss Willow." The older woman nodded, before continuing, "My husband thinks my witchcraft is so bizarre he rarely comes up here. Despite the fact I spend half my time with the coven."

"Husband?" Tara was surprised. She had trouble seeing the woman sitting in front of her being outside the coven. She was just so much a part of everything here. So devoted to learning everything she can about Wicca and magic.

Thea smiled, "Yes. Married 32 years. Have a daughter who's 28. I'll be going back to spend more time with him in a couple weeks."

"I wish...Well I guess I can't really. I'm not done here." Tara aired her thoughts slightly. She felt unusually comfortable here.

"We aren't keeping you here Tara, you aren't in trouble."

"I know. It's just I can't go back yet. I'm not ready."

"Okay." Thea smiled, "Did you know that Willow left some things here with us? From the last time she was here. Would you like them?"

Tara looked up in surprise, "Like what?"

"Come and see for yourself." And the older woman led her back inside.

BBB

Willow and Xander walked around outside. Six metres away from the house was as far as he could persuade her to go. She wouldn't even go down to the loch. Not that there was really a point since Dawn was no longer hiding there. She had mysteriously vanished shortly before their return from London.

"I can't believe she's gone. I finally tried to be honest and she left."

"Well you did tell her about squicky-snake-demon sex" Xander made his crazy face.

"It wasn't squicky- Well okay maybe a bit squicky. And scales are really abrasive- but with the magic- I didn't really notice at the time. Or notice anything else either."

"Poor Will." Xander consoled, patting her on the back.

"What have I done? I got the second chance. And I totally blew it."

"Well you know that there are other women." Xander suggested, purposefully pushing Willow's buttons.

"I don't want other women, I want Tara." Willow whined slightly.

"Well...I wouldn't write her off so quickly. She just needed some space. That was a lot of...well...honesty."

"You don't think she was bothered that I cheated on Kennedy, do you?"

"Maybe...it makes her wonder if you are the straying kind?" Xander's voice was still consoling with no hint of judgement.

"But-but I'm not the straying kind, I'm the loyal kind...like a puppy." Willow kicked absentmindedly at the gravel on the path.

"Speaking of which you and Ken...was kinda like watching a hooker make out with a puppy"

"Hey! That's so-" Willow stopped her offense and changed gears quickly, "In this scenario, I'm the puppy right?" Willow looked up suddenly.

"Yes Will, you are the cute and adorable puppy...particularly when you make those eyes."

"Sorry."

"She'll come back Will. She loves you." Xander put his arm around Willow's shoulder, guiding her down to the loch.

Willow sighed, "I just wish I could believe that...if I hadn't been such a whore.."

"You aren't a whore Will...you were lonely...and well enchanted. But Tara...You and she.."

"I know."

"Ice cream?"

"Oh yeah."

BBB

Tara sat alone; she had a room to herself here. And after they'd handed her the cedar chest containing small journal she'd recognised it immediately. How many times had she watched Willow write in it? How many times had she smiled as she scanned an entry? The other items in the chest weren't so special, her old leather jacket. One of her night gowns, old clothes that belonged to Willow. She remembered all of it.

Now she sat cross-legged on the bed. She was almost tentative to open it. She carefully opened it; she remembered the first entry well. About her and Willow, a simple breakfast and sassy eggs.

"Down to every last everything I do with you." Tara murmured slightly, remembering what Willow had said that day; running her fingers tenderly over Willow's words. She flipped through the pages only to have several photographs fall out on her lap.

Two she recognised immediately, photos of her and Willow beaming at the camera, posed comfortably together. One sitting on Buffy's couch, she remembered this – Buffy took this photo when they had Christmas dinner there. When Joyce was still alive. The other was the two of them relaxing on the beach during their first summer together.

The last photo was older; and unexpected. It was herself as a child sitting on her mother's lap. She couldn't remember who took this photo. She remembered she'd kept it hidden, rarely looking at it. She looked at her smaller self. She was probably about six years old in the photo. Why did Willow bring this photo? She wondered briefly, it didn't have the same meaning to Willow. It was the only photo she had of her herself and her mother; she'd taken it from the house the day she left home. Just shoved it, frame and all, into her bag on impulse and the assumption that she'd never go back.

She pulled out the leather jacket. It wasn't just any jacket- it was the one she came back to Willow in. She clutched it to her chest briefly. But it didn't smell like Willow any longer, just like mothballs from the old cedar trunk they'd been keeping Willow's stuff in. It would have been big on her tiny Willow-but she'd kept it anyway.

She'd kept all this stuff. Bringing it to England with her, in a way Willow had clung to her as long as she could. Keeping her photos, wearing her clothes. Tara's eyes watered, she didn't bother to blink back the tears. She let them fall down her face. She'd kept it all. Safe.

Willow, her beautiful, brave, darling Willow. Tara sobbed louder hugging the jacket, the doll's eye crystal tumbled from its depths and smacked painfully into her lap. It had been tucked inside, Tara reasoned, after recovering from the shock. She picked it up in her hand, Willow had left it here. She picked up the old night gown, it was a white lacy one she remembered telling Willow that it made her feel sexy.

She flipped through entry after entry in the journal. Their days together, simple things. Like eating breakfast, or taking a long walk through campus. Picnics outside on the grass, stargazing, the list of Tara–constellations, making love early in the mornings before the sun was fully up, cuddling, kissing, fighting, talking; even a poem that Willow had once written about her. This was their life together. All written down so it wouldn't get lost. Tara sobbed more with each word she read. Tears running down her face.

She finally reached the last entry.

_Tara is dead. There is nothing left to write about. Tomorrow after the funeral, Giles and I leave for England. I don't think I'm coming back. So I'm bringing this with me, to remind me that, well, I was loved. And no matter what else I am, no one can take that away._

Tara continued to sob, silently shaking and clutching the journal to her chest. She cried for her own death, for Willow, for her mother, for her coming back to life, for the place where she had been most happy falling into hell, for their old room together, for every moment she was spending away from Willow.

BBB

_Some time later_

Buffy stirred the pancake batter with purpose. She wouldn't have done this for her slayerettes, but it was just her, Will and Xander for breakfast. Rotation 1 was still out on patrol. And Rotation 2 was on a grocery run. As for rotation 3, in anticipation of being on call in two nights, they'd gone out to spar and practice their skills on each other.

"Okay Buffy so it says here you need to add two eggs." Willow read aloud from the cook book.

"Okay, egg me."

"Coming up!" Xander tossed the eggs from the fridge into Buffy's waiting hands.

"Thank the powers-that-be for the Slayer coordination eh Buff?" Xander smirked.

"Yeah...otherwise she'd be all eggy." Willow giggled, looking for the next ingredient in the list. She was still upset, and this reminded her of Tara. But in a good way. There's nothing wrong with remembering, Willow told herself as she searched for the whisk in one of the many kitchen drawers.

"Ha ha...very funny guys." Buffy cracked the eggs into the mixing bowl.

"Griddle, ready!" Xander said. "How about that batter?"

"I think it looks done" Willow said peering into the bowl.

"Ladies, ladies, allow me." Xander affected a bad french accent and dipping a finger into the batter he licked it. "Mm...'orrible."

"Horrible?"

"Yeah," he dipped another finger. "Try it for yourself" he smeared some along Buffy's right cheek.

"Hey!" Willow smacked him with the spatula. "Let's get cooking." She hopped the batter wasn't really awful. She doubted these pancakes would measure up to Tara's. But they could still be good.

BBB

_July 30__th __2005_

Her birthday came. Willow knew it would. She just didn't want to see it come without Tara. It reminded her that she was still gone. That with all Willow had done, Tara couldn' t be with her anymore.

Tara wanted to go back to school. To finish what she started. It was so like Tara that Willow realized she could never be mad for that. Upset. She'd miss her. But damn she should have just let her go. Enjoyed her for as long as she could because everything is transitory.

Buffy brought her back. Whether due to accident, illness or old age eventually Tara would die. They all would. Maybe that's what had her really scared now. She never knew when their time would be up. And it made her want to cling on tight and never let go.

Willow frowned slightly to herself as she picked up various magic books the slayerettes had left lying around. The bookcases spanned half of their "meeting room" as they called it. There were couches and chairs, and cushions littering the floor from the meeting last night. Random fragments of snack food were stuck in the cushions. Willow reluctantly sighed and dragged out the vacuum cleaner.

"Oh yes. We are superheroes we don't have to do the cleaning things thing." Willow muttered to herself as she cleaned up the room. Magically would be faster- but she didn't really feel much like casting at the moment.

Some demon things, she had offered her help when they went to chase it this morning but they had refused- since it was her birthday. Xander was downstairs- wired into his slayers with technology.

She was twenty-four today. Or had been since the early hours of the morning. It was her 4th birthday without Tara. But this year, Tara was alive and warm and real and out there somewhere. Willow comforted herself with that thought. So far it seemed like Buffy and Xander were so busy they hadn't noticed her birthday yet. Which was understandable with some demon-thing on the loose somewhere in Scotland.

She was alone for her birthday. Something that had never happened before. Even though her parents hardly noticed at times, she had always had Xander, and then Buffy, and then Tara. Then she had Kennedy. Kennedy had always made a big deal out of her birthday, much more fuss than Willow usually preferred. Still she had hoped they'd do something.

"Willow?" The familiar voice shocked her out of whatever thoughts she'd been lost in. She must be asleep, that must be the answer. She's asleep, and she's dreaming and it's not even her birthday yet.

"Yes?" Willow answered simply, trying to keep the spiralling emotions out of her response.

Tara appeared from around the corner, "Xander let me in."

"Oh. Good. That's of the good. It is good right? You aren't sent by the coven to warn us of an apocalypse?"

"No it's of the good. Come in the kitchen."

Willow entered the kitchen. Sitting inside of a large piece of Tupperware was a cake. She smelled it and smiled, "My cake?" It looked, and smelled homemade.

"Your cake." Tara smiled. "You still like chocolate right?"

It wasn't enough. And yet it was a start. Their eyes met and they knew that now was not the time for fighting. Or even talking things out. That would come soon enough. Today was a time to enjoy themselves.

Willow smiled tentatively, a smile that Tara met with one of her own, the crooked smile that Willow adored. It made her want to kiss her.

Tara stepped closer, "Happy birthday." And she leaned in to place a kiss on Willow's cheek but Willow turned at the last second pressing her lips firmly against Tara's.

BBB

"Hey Xander, we still taking Happy-Birthday Willow out to the pub this evening? I got balloons see?" Buffy brandished her balloons at Xander. "What are you not-looking at?"

Xander was pointedly avoiding staring into the kitchen.

Buffy took a quick gaze inside. Willow was sitting up on the island counter and Tara was talking to her softly and feeding her cake from a plate she held in her hand. Making both witches giggle madly.

"Tara's here?" Buffy looked to Xander in surprise.

"Yeah, she came with the cake."

"I hope it's good cake."

Authors note:

Again. I own only plot. And I want to give credit to my editor turned co-writer.


	9. Still Yours

_Authors note: This chapter contains somewhat disturbing and violent images, domestic abuse, and other dark depressing things. _

August 2nd 2005

Somehow those long, heartfelt talks about their feelings were not going the way that either witch had planned. And part of it was because no matter what she said, no matter how much Willow tried; Tara was still leaving. Willow knew this, last week in August she was going to London, moving in to her new apartment and doing the Master's program. Willow was staying, to continue with the magicks, and evil fighting here by Buffy's side. What else was she going to do? She felt more human when Tara was around, less like she was only energy- just her magic. But she still had work to do. Even if it was just setting up barriers around headquarters, and helping with research.

After four days Willow felt like banging her head against the wall. Although it had been made ,clear that full-disclosure was not the best strategy, Willow couldn't help but tiptoe around Tara, trying not to upset her feelings. Tara would occasionally try to talk to her about all that went on. But she couldn't understand. Not really.

"Why don't you just go the blunt route. Be Captain Obvious." Xander suggested.

"It won't work. It's not like she can see what happened." Willow had replied. No sooner were the words out of Willow's mouth and she was running for the bookcases, hoping she would find that particular volume. Searching through various magic books with a renewed energy. She remembered a spell she had once tried to get into Buffy's mind to bring her back out into the real world.

"Uh Will? What are you doing?"

"A spell I did once. Well something like it. It could work… it might." Willow smiled as she finally found the book she was searching for, pulling the heavy leather-bound volume off the shelf and into her hands.

"Willow, just to remind you, putting a spell on your girlfriend is not an option. Girls don't usually like that, remember?"

"No-no...I used it on Buffy, it would theoretically allow Tara to take a walk through my mind. Then...Then she could see, she would understand."

"A mind-meld spell? They have mind meld spells? Like vulcans? Vulcan-witches?" Xander looked stunned, "Okay, I am going back outside to watch the super-strong slayers do back flips like cartoon characters. At least that makes sense."

Tara had been trying to enjoy the past three days. It was bittersweet. And her and Willow weren't lovers anymore. Not really. They had been sharing a room and a bed. But both had kept to their own sides. Reminding her of when Willow used to stay over before they had begun their relationship, they'd start out on their own sides and wind up squished together in the morning, leading to blabbered or stuttered apologies.

Willow entered the room breathlessly. She looked like she'd run upstairs in a hurry. A box in her hands, and a large leather book tucked under one arm. Obviously full of candles and other witchy-supplies.

Tara laughed in spite of herself, looking up from the book that she was reading. This Willow looked so very much like the Willow she first met, even with the threads of darkness.

"Tara I want to show you something. Well actually I want you to do something. I want you to take a little trip, well more of a magic-spell-type trip." Willow babbled.

"Where would I be going?" Tara asked. She wasn't entirely sure what Willow was asking.

"Inside me... my insides."

"Uh. Willow I'm not so sure that's such a good idea just now. And I'm kinda still at that time of the-"

"Oh no...not those insides, not the physical insides, I meant inside my mind" Willow blushed. "There's this spell- you take a little walk through my mind and I really want to show you things. I want you to really see what I am."

Tara thought for a moment, "Let me take a look at the spell?"

"Of course." Willow answered, setting the box down on the floor, than setting the book on the bed, opening it to the right page.

Tara read for a moment, her eyes opened wide, "That's a really big spell Willow."

"I know."

"I-I'm not sure if I can."

"If you don't feel comfortable you don't have to. But if you're worried about what's in my busy head I'll only show you some stuff. You'll see what I'm showing you. A kind of guided tour."

"No that's not what I mean," Tara's hand gently clasped Willow's, "I'm not sure I can do that. Not alone anyway."

"I can help you. The connection part anyway. And I'd be with you when you walked through my memories."

"Would I be able to see you? You see me?"

"Me-me? Or past-me?"

"Either?"

"I don't know. I've never used it like this before."

"Would it be...safe?" Tara asked questioningly.

"Yes." Willow used the one word answer. She knew without a doubt that she could do this spell safely. She had the power, and the control.

"Okay." Tara nodded her head deciding in the affirmative.

BBB

They prepared most of the day. Tara was more nervous than Willow was. She'd never really enjoyed casting alone, not after she'd met Willow anyways. And she would have to do the harder parts of the spell, even if Willow was helping her and providing some of the energy. They waited for night, more by Tara's request who wanted to study the spell as much as possible and prepare before nightfall.

Even with the door locked, they were so afraid of being disturbed, even though two teams of slayers had gone out on patrol. They were faking turning in early tonight to have the space to do the spell.

Now, with Willow lighting candles, and Tara sitting cross-legged on the floor. It seemed so very much like the spells they'd cast before. She'd missed this.

Finally, Willow sat down across from her, so close that their knees were touching.

"Ready?"

Tara nodded affirmatively, taking Willow's hands in hers, she closed her eyes. And they began.

BBB

A rush of white, then darkness, finally Tara found herself in their old bedroom. Everything as she remembered.

Willow sat on the bed. It was the Willow of her present. She looked at her, pleased that the spell had worked but remained silent.

_Why are we here? Tara asked._

_Just watch, they can't see you. Her Willow answered without speaking._

Suddenly, she came face to face with herself. Well almost. They appeared on the floor. Willow clutching her body, her shirt sprayed with her blood. Willow begging her to get up, half aware that her love had already gone from this plane.

Willow's eyes went black, she felt a shiver go through her body- but she didn't break the connection. Even when Willow screamed, and cried.

"Bring her back!" Past-Willow demanded of Osiris.

Tara might not be viewing things from Willow's perspective, but her feelings flooded into Tara. The pain and grief were overwhelming. Lost stung at her and Tara wept.

It was all there. The darkness, the anger and the pain. This Willow was far from sane and it was ripping her apart at the seams. Her eyes and hair blackened by it. Her aura stained. She followed Willow through her grief and destruction.

She watched Willow hunt down her killer; shoving anyone or anything that tried to stop her out of her way. She watched Willow hurt, and kill and maim. Willow had killed without remorse, without feelings of any kind. She watched Willow do this twice. She was completely taken over by grief, and the dark magic was using her. Willow's emotions coursing through her. Giles. Magic. Ending the world. It began to blur together.

_My Willow. Oh my Willow. Tara thought helplessly. I don't know if I can take anymore. But Tara was in control of the connection, and she held it._

Finally, it came to a close. Willow sobbing her eyes out in Xander's arms. Suddenly, she was Willow again. The magics fading and her lover reasserting herself in her own body, letting the grief pore out.

It faded back to white briefly, Tara catching her breath. Slowing her breathing. Was she really breathing? This was somewhat akin to astral projection so she could not be exactly sure.

A new scene came into focus. Willow was here, in England, at the coven. She watched Willow learn and mourn her loss.

The aching void. A faked smile. Willow at her grave; placing small rocks on the headstone. Tara didn't understand why, but she suddenly understood the custom as a Jewish one even though she had never seen it before.

"Hey it's me" Past-Willow said tracing her name with her fingers. She so wanted to go wrap her arms around that younger Willow and cry with her. Reassure her that the future would be better.

The scene changed. It was Willow talking to a strange girl in the library. Her own Willow met her confusion in her brain. This was the First, the First Evil in a disguise. This was horrible. Even if it hadn't taken her form, it tortured Willow using her. She couldn't see this.

No more Tara thought. Please no more, I can't take anymore grief. I can't stand seeing you in pain anymore. And she was so helpless to comfort her. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into this past and protect Willow as best she could.

Slowly it faded away. She found herself standing in the corner of a darkened room once again.

She wasn't sure what room they were in because Willow didn't really remember. It was probably her dorm room at Sunnydale University but she wasn't sure. But when she looked at the bed she saw something beautiful.

It was early morning, before the sun was up and Willow was holding her lovingly and watching her sleep. This was somewhere within their first year together. Tara thought.

Past-Willow spoke, "My Tara." She crooned gently at the Tara curled up on her body, like they would together during the day over their kitten. Her eyes full of love and devotion. So perfectly content.

She felt her own Willow curl herself around her back and feeling that this was done Tara slowly broke the connection.

BBB

She found herself lying down on the floor. No longer cross-legged. She could feel the tears still streaming down her face at what she'd seen.

"Willow." She sobbed. And within an instant Willow was in her arms, kissing her forehead and face. Then helping her up and lying down with her in the bed. A hand brushing through her hair soothingly.

Willow was pained, obviously from reliving the memories right along with her as they went along.

The crying clinging witches continued for a while. Tears streaming down both faces, clutching each other as close as they could.

"It was so awful." Tara managed to get out.

"I know." Willow answered, stroking Tara's hair. They probably stayed like that for a good hour, crying and holding each other.

Until finally, curled back in Willow's arms and feeling safe she made a decision.

"I want you inside of me." Tara whispered tenderly. Wanting to show Willow the same incredible trust that she'd been shown.

Willow looked up in surprise, "If you want." She reached for her PJ shirt, and pulled it off over her head. She was going to give Tara whatever she wanted.

"No! No... I mean the spell. I want to show you something." Tara said.

"Okay. Anything you want." Willow told her gently, but the surprise was clearly shown. She hadn't expected this. Not after her violation of Tara's mind. Twice. She hadn't even used telepathy on her since she'd been back. She'd been so careful to respect that boundary. This meant a lot coming from Tara, it meant she trusted her with magic again.

"Do we have to move?"

"No. I can do it like this." Willow answered, and her mind reached out wordlessly to Tara's connecting them again.

BBB

Willow remembered doing this spell with Buffy. But this was more unrestrained, she felt Tara. Emotions tangled as they connected. She could feel that Tara had missed doing spells with her.

Then she found herself in a very unfamiliar room.

Tara was curled up in the bed, face pressed into the pillow. Was this the house she grew up in? Willow looked around for signs of where she was. Willow walked towards the bed from the hallway. It was largish with a wooden frame. The covers were mussed, someone

_What is this place?_

_Shh. Watch, her own Tara whispered to her._

Willow began to look closer. A small child was cuddled up next to Tara. What was this place? Was this a fantasy? But she saw no signs of herself anywhere in this room.

The child was awake, giggling slightly, "Mama get up!" The child was adorable, blonde hair braided, with Tara's eyes. The little once bounced on her knees, clad only in a long flannel nightgown.

"Tara. Its still early." The woman she previously thought was Tara answered her.

"The sun is up." Tara smiled, "You promised you'd show me-"

The woman sat up. Willow looked at her face, she did look a lot like Tara. Their colouring was the same with the honey-coloured hair and blue eyes. Her features were much like Tara's. But this woman looked tired, her face was thinner than Tara's and other slight differences seemed so obvious to Willow who knew her lover's body so well she was surprised she had thought this was Tara. It must be her mother.

_My mother, her Tara confirmed._

The smaller Tara might have been about 4, she smiled mischievously and her teddy-bear rose slightly in the air and waved its paws at her mother.

Tara's mother beamed at her child. Her face lighting up, "Okay. But we have to finish before your father gets home remember? Our secret?"

"Our secret." The little Tara repeated and mimed zipping her lips.

It struck Willow then how young Tara's mother was here. She doubted she was much older than they were now.

_Willow smiled, you were so adorable. How could anyone not completely fall in love with you?_

She got to watch, as the mother schooled the daughter in Wicca and in magic. Mixing it in with their day to day life. Getting breakfast ready, running her older brother out to the bus stop. Reading to Tara... Life at their farmhouse, horses, the world through the eyes of a child.

_Tara learned the balance, Willow thought, trained to be a witch even then. So attuned and aware and cautious of what she was doing._

_I was still only a child. Her own Tara answered her silently._

She caught glimpses of Tara's brother Donny, saw him practice with his mother and his sister, after he returned from school. He might have been about seven. He seemed more hesitant to practice magic with his mother than the younger version of Tara. Unsurprisingly, his little sister had surpassed him in power; he couldn't do what she could. The three of them joining hands, conducting their own circle.

_She was training them, she was training them both. The realization hit Willow quickly._

_He was seven; this is the last time he cast with my mother and me. Her Tara filled her in._

Tara's mother talked about her own mother, Tara's grandma. And the dead.

_Samhain, Willow realized. This was Halloween, you were honouring the dead._

_Actually, it was November 1st_.

The scene changed. It was the same day, judging by the clothes that all three were still wearing. Tara's mom was cooking dinner. Tara was helping, as best a small child could fetching things for her mother from the fridge. Putting napkins on the table.

"When's Dad going to be home?" Donny asked his mother nervously.

"I don't know. Today or tomorrow, he didn't say for sure. Did you both move your stuff back to your own rooms?" Tara's mother looked at them with concern.

"I did." Donny answered, "Tara didn't."

"I don't want him to come home." The small Tara pouted, and began to look very small and very scared.

"Donny, put Tara's things back in her room please."

"Aww Mama I-" Donny gave up and went to go move Tara's things.

Tara's mom dropped down to the floor and embraced her daughter, who snuggled in, "Your father's not so bad sweetie. He has his problems like everyone else."

"He's mean." Tara crossed her little arms across her chest.

"Shh. Here put the plates on the table." Tara's mom handed them to her, "Carefully please Tara."

The door opened. This man Willow recognized. This was Mr. Maclay, Tara's father. Younger, but he still had the same look to him. He dropped his bag near the floor. As Donny came running downstairs Willow could see mixed feelings at seeing his father playing across his face.

"Irene!" He hollered slightly.

"Yes? I'm in the kitchen Don."

Made sense, shared a name with his son. Willow began to piece together this puzzle. She felt trepidation and fear. The feelings of child-Tara.

Mr Maclay came into the kitchen, "Least you made enough for four. I swear you don't miss me at all when I'm gone."

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I do." Irene responded and walked over to her husband.

"What do you do all day? Sit around plotting against me? There's nothing done. You are so useless." He criticised.

Irene remained silent, and finished setting the table.

Willow caught sight of what neither parent had noticed yet. Tara had the cutlery drawer open and a wooden spoon was currently floating its way towards the ceiling. Unfortunately, her father saw her first.

"You little..." Mr Maclay jumped to his feet, "What kind of evil are you bringing in to my house!" He yelled at the child, he had slapped her face before Irene had the chance to get in the way. Willow's eyes welled with tears, just as though she'd been struck across her own face.

The small Tara began to cry.

"Baby." Donny muttered.

"You're a demon-child, bringing that evil into my house just like your mother. You are bad. And bad girls get punished." Mr. Maclay yelled at his daughter.

"No Don." Irene finally managed to push herself between her husband and her daughter, "You don't mean that, Tara go upstairs!"

"You!" Her father spat out with disgust, "You're just as bad as she is!" He grabbed his wife roughly, hands on her upper arms. The little Tara cowered in a corner in the next room with her hands pressed over her ears to block out some of the sound. As Willow looked at her Tara she noticed she was shaking. She put her arms around her as the scene around them melted into something else.

Tara was older now, about sixteen, sitting in a hospital room holding the hand of her mother. All of Tara's mother's beautiful golden hair had fallen out and she looked gaunt and thin, Tara's mother was asleep. But not a peaceful one.

_Seventeen. Her own Tara corrected her gentl_y. Willow tightened her embrace around Tara.

Teenage Tara looked up as a nurse came in. The nurse was an older maternal sort of woman in her fifties and smiled warmly at Tara before taking Irene's vitals.

"No ch-change?" Tara asked quietly. She had already developed that telltale stutter. Her father's doing; Willow mused.

"No...she's been in a coma for two days now. Honey- I don't want you to expect too much. Your mother has been very brave and she's put up a good fight, but I don't think she'll wake up again."

Tara stifled a sob.

"She'll likely pass away in the night..." Noticing Tara's expression she changed her tact. "It's been noted that patients in comas can often hear what is being said around them. She can still hear you, your mother. Cancer is a very nasty disease; hers: more so. She's a wonderful woman your mother, it's very tragic." The nurse adjusted the poled and fed some more morphine into her mother's drip. "I'll leave you two alone now Tara, but you really should go home and get some sleep."

"If she's d-dying I want to be with her." The nurse smiled wanly at Tara's persistence. Willow realized that it was not the first night that Tara had spent sleeping in the chair beside her mother's bed. Her backpack was on the floor and she could see a towel poking out of it.

"Well I'm going off shift now dear. If you need anything Rhoda is on the night shift. Goodnight Tara."

"Goodnight Wendy." Tara managed to look away from her mother's limp form.

After she had gone Tara snuggled up besides her mother and Willow could hear her sobbing into her arm. "Mama, please don't leave me Mama. I need you." Willow could also hear what the younger version of Tara was thinking. Don't leave me alone with him.

_She died that night. Her own Tara told her._

Willow found herself briefly lost in a flood of emotion, Tara's at losing her mother. It was pain, and rage, and so many things that she couldn't put words to.

The next scene that followed was familiar. Tara's old dorm room. With the Christmas lights hung in the dark. They were there. Casting a spell, that soon she saw the younger Willow beaming at Tara excitably as it worked.

"You were right. It just took a bit more concentration and bam! Instant results!" the younger Willow babbled. Before losing focus and staring at Tara who was looking at her. The younger Willow leaned forward and kissed Tara. It wasn't their first kiss, but it was close to it.

Spells and kisses, that was the beginning.

Willow could feel the nerves, the excitement and the thrill at these tentative kisses. Hands still too unsure to wander, she saw Tara hold her younger self around the waist gently. She could feel how restrained Tara was, so controlled. She was keeping things as light as possible. So scared of scaring her away.

Their younger selves broke apart and smiled before kissing again gently.

Her Tara smiled at her as well. Then very gradually the scene melted away, they were still in the same room. Willow recognized this scene easily.

There on the floor they were conducting the passage to the neatherrealms. This was their first time.

"The inward eye the sightless see, Ayala flows through the river in me..." Their younger selves chanted.

She could feel Tara's nervousness, her passion and desire. She had felt it at the time of course, but from the inside out it was different. More all-consuming.

Her younger self, and Tara as well, their breathing was heavy, shallow. She watched herself fall backwards, arching and gasping. Looking like she was caught in an intense orgasm. Tara followed her, retaining contact, breathing heavily and undressing her from the waist down.

She felt herself shudder slightly, watching this was different than anything else she's seen in Tara's mind. Her own Tara held her hand, a simple gesture- not a physical one considering these bodies were mere projections, but comforting all the same.

Watching the two of them make love was really weird to say the least. This time she could feel what Tara felt...what Tara was thinking. At the same time, feeling Tara's passion and crazy desire and all the love she had for her already was a powerful stimulant.

_You loved me. Willow thought-spoke to Tara happily._

_You knew that already. Tara reminded her_.

She felt it, Tara's love, her need for her. Even as Tara made love to her. She heard the noises from the mouth of her younger self, saw Tara's head between her legs, and finally it was over.

She felt an echo of Tara's release. Heard the gasp that she'd missed in the moment- lost in her own climax and the feeling of Tara's mouth on her.

_You came? You came from that_? Willow looked behind her to her own Tara in shock. Even in her ghostly state Tara blushed scarlet.

The younger Tara became awkward, laying her head on Willow's stomach. She was embarrassed until younger Willow finally got the sense to kiss her.

The spell had connected them potently; Tara had been entirely caught up in it and when it had ended, it had left her feeling very unsure of herself.

_She looked back to her own Tara, I forgot about that. I remember you were so sure._

_No I wasn't. I just wanted you badly enough._

When she looked back to their younger selves, they were kissing and climbing back onto the bed. Tara pulled it back out flat. She had forgotten about that.

It was almost embarrassing the uncertainty she had then. The way she had panicked once they were naked and clung to Tara.

She felt Tara's love, her concern, and she remembered the way she felt then. Terrified.

_This was such a mess, Willow sighed._

_No, it was beautiful. Look at it. Really look. Tara reminded her_

_I am looking, I was so nervous. This is embarrassing._

Willow watched as Tara's younger self rolled over, and continued to make love to her extra-neurotic-younger self. For her, it had been an exploration- not a performance and that had been the difference in neurosis.

There was awe, and thrill and total joy in pleasuring Willow, being inside her.

Tara was so totally content there. Actually both Taras were extremely content at the moment.

Finally, she watched herself move them so that she was on top. Her hand moving down Tara's body.

She could feel Tara's thoughts, her feelings, the nervousness and the desire. Slow. The younger Tara was thinking, clinging to her Willow. She saw the moment she'd pressed a finger deep into Tara. Intent on feeling more of her.

After a few moments, "More." the younger Tara decided. And her younger counterpart obliged immediately, eager to please Tara and happy for directions as the older Willow recalled.

The younger Tara made a mewling sound when she added a second finger. The startling newness of having her body explored, slightly uncomfortable, and overwhelming desire. But it was Willow inside of her and she had welcomed her into her body without hesitation.

Willow got closer to them without thinking, watching them move on the bed together. Both writhing and pleasuring and breathing heavily. The younger Willow arched her back, gasping out her release, and Tara soon followed, their moans breaking the silence in the room.

These emotions flooding Willow now were potent, too much and she broke the connection.

BBB

Willow breathed heavily back on the bed. She looked at Tara. Her eyes full of tears again.

She'd shown Tara destruction and grief, her darkness. And Tara had responded with pain, and love. They were lying side by side, barely touching, and staring intently into each other's eyes.

Tara was smiling at her, her eyes red and tear stained, Willow reached out and pulled Tara close, consuming her mouth in a kiss, and planting little sweet kisses on her face. Then she devoured her mouth again; sucking on her bottom lip, this kiss wasn't like the others they'd had since they'd been back. Tara's hand wound around the back of Willow's head pulling her in tighter. Willow's arms closing around Tara's warm body. Holding her as close as she could.

"Why?" Willow asked, pulling back for a moment. She still couldn't believe after all that had happened; messing with Tara's memories a few years ago that Tara had allowed her into her mind. Seeing pain and joy. Experiencing her feelings.

"Because you needed to see it. And I wanted to share it with you. Some of that I could never just tell you." Tara explained, running her fingers through Willow's red hair.

"But the-" Willow tried to express her feelings at witnessing them make love.

Tara understood easily. "The rest of it was kind of depressing." She explained somewhat sheepishly.

There was a silence, Willow absent-mindedly tracing her fingers across Tara's breast. It took a few moments before she realized what she was doing, "Oh. Sorry. I didn't- I'm not thinking really well just now. And it was just kinda there..."

Tara smiled that sweet crooked smile, her hand went to cover Willow's, pressing her hand to her more firmly, "That's okay. I want you to touch me."

Her body responded instantly to Tara's words.

"Oh Goddess.... I need you." Willow breathed. She couldn't stop looking at Tara. She'd been deprived of her touch for far too long. She pressed her face between the much adored breasts of her lover. She nuzzled in and kissed them, sighing gently, "Mmm I want you Tara."

She smiled at Willow's reaction, then gently rolled the lithe witch on to her stomach. She spooned close to her back and began to kiss down her spine. Beginning at the nape of her neck she worked her way down. Soft, sensuous kisses that made Willow shiver. One hand claiming the redhead's hip as she slowly pressed her lips again and again.

Finally, after lavishing attention on her lover's back, she moved to hover over Willow again, pressing her into the sheets.

Willow moaned wordlessly as Tara rolled her over onto her back. She pressed close, delighting in the softness of Willow's skin, and it was bare. She planted kisses everywhere she could reach.

Tara supported herself on her arms looking down into Willow's eyes. They were breathing hard in unison and still reeling from the incredible not-so-physical intimacy they had just shared. Very slowly Tara caressed Willow's slim body, light teasing touches. She slowly began to undress her lover, her eyes never leaving Willows for more than mere moments to kiss the soft skin of her neck or collar bone. Willow tilted her pelvis up allowing Tara to slowly remove her PJ bottoms. Tara's hands were playing across her skin, sweet, gentle, tender caresses.

"Mmm...Shirt off" Willow instructed, as she attempted to de-shirt Tara to no avail. She kept fumbling. Tara giggled and quickly removed her shirt, and then with a tilt of her head, her pants as well. To Willow's great delight, Tara had gone without a bra.

Tara leaned over again to claim Willow's mouth with her own, sliding her thigh between Willow's, she could feel the liquid heat of Willow's arousal agains her leg as she rocked against her, placing kissing down Willow's face, throat and bosom while she rocked. Willow kissed her lips ardently, sliding her hands down Tara's body and slipping her hands inside her panties to caress her ass. She gripped slightly before she pulled Tara's underwear down to her slender ankles where Tara ofthandedly kicked them off, claiming Willow's mouth with a passionate kiss. Willow slipped her thigh between Tara's legs, rocking back against Tara's sex. They lay like that for a while, rocking, moaning and kissing, breath coming hard and heavy. Finally, they broke the kiss for air, each trying to take in as much oxygen as possible.

"This is going to be messy." Tara warned, but it was a low breathless pant.

"I don't care. I don't like these sheets anyway." Willow responded, gazing up at Tara, still rocking gently against her, sliding against her now well lubricated thigh. Her eyes were dark, her lips parted slightly, and with every rock of her hips her breasts bounced.

Willow was utterly hypnotized, "You are so beautiful."

She didn't respond, just leant down and claimed Willow's mouth with her own.

When she finally released Willow's lips, her eyes were still brimming with tears, she knew that if they kept rocking like this eventually they would find release, but she wanted something else.

Tara removed her thigh, to the sounds of an annoyed whimper from Willow. She let her hand take a slow journey down her lover's body.

There was no need for instructions now, Willow thought internally. They could probably write the book on each other. Willow was considering the name for the hypothetical book when she was once again distracted.

Tara caressed her wet heat, grazing it, before pleasuring Willow purposefully.

"Oh Willow." She sighed, and leaned down to kiss Willow again, slipping fingers inside, and working her oh so slowly.

"Tara..." Willow groaned. She felt Tara pepper kisses all over her face.

Willow's hands moved over her lover's body, over her back, and ass and thighs. Her skin was so soft, so perfect.

Finally, Willow moved her hand to Tara's sex, desiring nothing more than to please her. In many ways they were mirroring the last memory. But this mutual pleasuring had none of the awkwardness of that first time. Their movements were fluid, they moved like one creature. Completely in synch, backs arching and eyes locked. It seemed to go on forever, blotting out the rest of the world with their magic, the real magic. The one that existed so effortlessly between them.

"I'm yours." Tara moaned, rocking above her, tensing and close, "Willow...Willow...Willow..." Her moans ending with a long low moan, wordless, and Willow gasped, shaking out her own release as she met her soulmate in a delicious oblivion.

The two lay close; snuggled together on the mussed sheets.

"I love you." Tara whispered, kissing Willow so gently.

"I love you too." Willow whispered back.

Tara moved to rest her head on Willow's chest, "Mmm." She began humming contentedly, running her fingers across alabaster skin.

Willow didn't recognize the melody at first, but when she did she smiled, "You, are going to make me want to do all of that, all over again."

"I guess I'm doing something right then." Tara quipped, and returned to her humming.

The door suddenly swung open with a crash.

"Ay carumba." The exclamation was loud, followed by Buffy bursting in to the room behind Xander.

"God Xander, don't you – OH GOD." Buffy stopped, her eyes going as wide as dinner plates.

"I know we locked that door." Willow said, trying in vain to reach for a blanket, Tara managed to cover them however.

"Yeah. I have the master key."

"Oh. Great... Thanks for knocking guys." Willow said, still clutching the sheets close to herself.

"We need you guys to get dressed and come downstairs."

Before she could ask why the answer was blurted out, "One of the slayers is dead."


	10. Outside

In the meeting room the slayers were either on couches, chairs or the floor. Willow and Tara arrived somewhat late to the meeting, still towelling off their hair. They found a free couch, sitting themselves down not too far from the pack of slayers.

Some busied themselves at staring at pieces of dust collecting on the wood floor, or tracing patterns in the rug with their fingers. Eye contact really wasn't being made.

A few slayers glanced up at them, but most continued to look at either Buffy or the floor. A few were crying slightly. Others were attempting to be tough Willow noted that this was difficult to look tough with bed head, noting it for future reference. Four of them were in pyjamas, the others looked like they'd been called back from patrol still toting weapons and sporting leather.

"Anyways- yes Ingrid is dead. Yes, Sophie is missing. And Dawn is still MIA, but you've known that for a month now." Buffy spoke frankly to the slayers.

She was met with silence. Five pairs of wondering eyes looked up at her from the couches. No one was really sure what to say.

Willow wondered if she should say something, or offer to help or track the missing slayers. Or even just babble to lighten the mood, her mind was slowed from its frantic pace by Tara's hand reaching out for her own. She squeezed her fingers lightly, offering this slight comfort.

Buffy paused for a moment, whether it was for emphasis or planning no one could be sure.

Xander glanced at Buffy, but before he could begin speaking Buffy interrupted him.

"Okay. This is what is going to happen. Rowena is going to take Jessica and Kate and finish the patrol in the area where Sophie went missing. If you find her I want you to check in immediately with Xander. She's our first priority now."

Rowena stood up, and went wordlessly upstairs to change into more appropriate clothes for patrolling.

"Wait. Wait a second why do I have to go after Sophie?" One of the slayers asked.

"We need to figure out what happened to Sophie. We had two slayers on two different patrols go missing- one is dead. You think it over Jessica and see if you can come up with a good reason not to go after her."

"It's okay Jess, we'll go now. You know Sophie, she's probably just gone off with some idiot guy. We'll be home in no time." The slayer who sat next to her answered, Willow remembered that her name was Kate. Or rather she deducted it. Either way, her name was Kate.

"If Sophie is alive, feel free to yell at her." Buffy suggested, as the three slayers left to patrol.

Buffy turned her attention to the witches, "Will and Tara, I want you to check books, look for a way to track Sophie magically."

"We'll start looking." Tara answered, glancing at Willow for confirmation.

"And we could microchip them all, then we could find them really easy. Press a few buttons on a keyboard, hack into a satellite and boom! No more losing slayers. I could find them all real easy. Actually I can find them all really easily now- with so many in one place we aren't exactly hard to find. But you already knew that. Obviously. " Willow realized how much she was talking, and stopped herself.

"Yeah but that would make us an even bigger target than we are now. It's going to be like painting a giant bull's eye on all our foreheads. We'd probably do better to all go into hiding. Or put buckets on our heads." Xander responded.

"Actually that's not a bad idea." Buffy looked over at Xander slowly.

"Should I go get a bucket?" Xander joked, happy for the distraction to the grim situation.

"No. We should break up into pairs, or something. Spread out over more space. Be harder to find. For a secret organization- we are way too easy to target." Buffy said this all with a growing sense of realization.

"We were attacked once, and we got through it." One of the slayers spoke up.

"I like living here." Another responded.

A few others nodded in agreement.

"Well lucky for us, I'm in charge. Not you." Buffy threw back at them.

"I'm going to head downstairs and wire in for the patrol." Xander gestured towards the door before escaping to the haven of the basement.

"Okay, the rest of you get back to bed. See if Sophie shows up somewhere in your dreams." Buffy paused, rubbing at her forehead.

The slayers got up, noisily and tromped up the stairs leaving the room.

Buffy looked at them briefly before a shadow cast over her face, "Giles, I have to call Giles- will you-"

"We'll be fine," Tara assured her, "Go on. We can take care of the tracking."

"Thanks." Buffy walked out of the room before pulling out her cell phone.

They heard the murmuring through the door, but largely ignored it as each witch grabbed for one of the large tomes, and began to skim through them searching for a spell that would do.

"There's a few, but it requires knowing who the missing person is. Did you know her well Willow?"

"Not really, we talked a bit. She was a nice enough kid. English. Dark hair. Obsessed with David Bowie."

"Kid?"

"She was 17."

"Oh." Tara paused, shifting through the heavy leather bound book she was browsing, "This might work."

Willow skimmed the passage, spell for finding a missing person, "That should do it, you'll help?" Willow hadn't asked for help with a spell in a long time, and she didn't really need it. But she hoped Tara would say yes anyways.

"Of course." Tara began to take magic supplies off the shelf, "Slayer-tracking; this should be different."

"Probably. Well not that different. I mean they are still human, they have to eat and all that."

Tara paused looking down, as she found the matchbook in the box, and lit several candles, "Are you?"

"Am I what?" Willow answered, still going over the incantation. Hoping desperately that Tara wouldn't ask her that. Not knowing the answer herself. A human who didn't have to eat, who could teleport and fly, and who could heal her own brain after a lobotomy. Even if she couldn't teleport or fly anymore- what was she?

"Ready to do the spell?" Tara finished with an oddly amused smile, "Where is your busy brain at?"

Before Willow could answer, Buffy came bounding back into the room with a smile, "Dawn showed up at Giles' earlier tonight. She's not missing anymore." The phone still clutched to her ear, she listened somewhat to the voice on the other side.

"Great." Willow smiled, "That's one less person for me to use this on."

"It's good that Dawnie is safe." Tara smiled back.

"I thought she was safe, maybe went back to California, or off to see a friend of hers. Didn't want to be bothered. You know, college student stuff." Buffy explained.

"Well we all thought that. She's okay?" Tara asked.

"Absolutely. Had a weird month, or so she said but she's fine."

A loud scream disturbed them all from their conversation. Buffy hung up the phone wordlessly, grabbing her crossbow from the table and walking quickly in the direction of the nearest door.

"Outside?" Willow asked as she and Tara jumped to their feet and followed Buffy outside.

It was dark, and they couldn't really see much. One of the girls from the group they'd sent out was standing her mouth gaping in the dark. Her flashlight pointed straight down.

"What was it Jessica?" Buffy asked the girl, walking up beside her before covering her own mouth with her hand.

Willow and Tara hung back slightly, but they jumped when the flashlight was once again pointed at the corpse.

She was on her back, eyes open and dark hair mussed and bloody. Her own stake was driven through her heart and blood soaking through her clothes and into the earth beneath her.

"Goddess." Willow breathed, the others stood silently for a moment. Still in shock at what they had found. And no one spoke for a long time.


	11. Leaving

After a long silence finally Buffy spoke.

"Jessica, go inside and get me a shovel."

The girl nodded, obviously not trusting her voice and went to go grab a shovel.

"Sh-should we help?" Tara asked, her voice betraying her slightly as her eyes were still locked on the dead slayer.

"No." Buffy answered quietly, "I'll dig the grave. You can go inside. I want you to get Giles out here."

Tara nodded, returning to the house silently, not seeing what else she could really do.

Willow released Tara's hand slowly, and turned back towards Buffy.

"You too Will, grave digging is not a spectator sport." Buffy kneeled on the ground, moving her flashlight over the body of the girl, searching for something.

"Do you want me to-" Willow tried, she wasn't even sure what she was offering. Police? They couldn't get involved. Should they notify the girl's family? Did she have family? Did they care? Willow leaned back, she flinched slightly as more of the body was revealed by Buffy's flashlight examination. She saw the blood had soaked through the dead girl's clothes. Her throat got involuntarily tight her mind flashed back to Tara on the floor at Buffy's house, the blood soaking her chest.

"No, it's alright. I can bury her. Besides autopsy report would just read: impaled by wooden stake." Buffy sighed, "Her own stake. Where the hell are her other weapons?" She muttered the last part.

"What do you think got her?"

"I don't know. A vamp. Or maybe a human. Or a demon." Buffy averted her eyes from the corpse for a moment, "No neck wounds though."

"So research-mode?" Willow tried to steady herself. She was pretty sure she was actually shaking her head to rid the mental picture.

"Just go inside Will."

Willow finally turned and walked the several metres back towards the house. Jessica brushed past her with a shovel in one hand and a camera in the other.

The redhead leaned against the wall as soon as she came inside. She had barely known the dead girl and yet her reaction to seeing the body. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had never been particularly good at 'turning off' her own brain. It tended to go on and on, whether or not she wanted it to.

She never slept well until she began sleeping with Oz, and then with Tara. It was something about having another person next to her that kept her mind from wandering. And no one could keep her mind from wandering like Tara. With Oz it was sex and the brief oblivion it provided. Tara could calm her mind much more simply.

Head spinning madly, Willow sank to the floor. She had a vague notion of a few people wandering out the door and casting brief glances in her direction. Muttering vaguely about "shock". She wasn't in shock. She was perfectly calm. There had just been so much blood. She wondered about the girl's blood type. Maybe this was shock.

She felts hands haul her to her feet, she blacked out.

The next thing she knew it was light out and she felt a cool cloth on her forehead, and warm arms around her. She looked down, she had been laid out on the couch for at least several hours. She saw a familiar tousled head resting on her chest. Tara had fallen asleep waiting for her to wake up. She looked at the light falling on Tara's face it was still early, she shouldn't wake her and she couldn't move without waking Tara. Trapped between the couch and a sleeping Tara wasn't such a bad position to be in. Bit of a cramp in her neck though, she stretched out slightly with her neck, cautious not to disturb her sleeping lover.

Willow scanned the room. She saw a row of suitcases lined up and several boxes half filled with magical texts. It looked as though the slayers had started packing en masse last night. Their lair had been discovered and they were evacuating as quickly as ants at a foodless picnic. If she could say one thing about Buffy it was that she worked fast. Willow wondered where she and Tara would go. She supposed her place was by Buffy's side, perhaps working out a higher-tech method for the slayers to keep in touch and updated.

She felt Tara shift against her. "Mm...Willow, are you awake?"

"How did you know?"

"I could practically hear you thinking you were doing so much of it" Tara goaded.

"They're all leaving."

"I know."

"It's sort of sad, you know?"

"Willow, I had to leave anyway. I'm leaving in three days. I need to get set up in London."

"Tara, we need you, you're a really strong witch and whatever this is..."

"The slaying is Buffy's thing, and your thing and Xander's thing and I get that. But I need more in my life than violence and death."

"You have me."

Tara gave a slow half-smile and stroked Willow's hair back from her face, "I know."

"You're really going to leave." Willow said very quietly.

"Yeah. I am."


	12. Choices

_August 13th 2005_

She never thought she'd be in the place of a character in a tragic romance novel. Complete with angst, bittersweetness and trains.

Sighing she looked from the train, to Tara and back again.

She didn't want to do this. Should she offer to carry Tara's luggage? It was on wheels, but maybe the gesture would be enough. She stared at the wheel-y bag as they wandered along the platform.

They finally stopped. Tara looked at her, "Willow, I-"

The redhead cut her off with a hug, dropping her own voice lower, she responded, "You can't say that now. Please its really not the right time for that."

"It's just... not the right time?"

"I think you're right. With the timing thing."

"I think maybe...we're being pulled in different directions."

She pulled her close to kiss, not wanting to let go yet. She wasn't sure how long it would be before she'd see her again. She finally pulled back, aware that they might be making quite the scene in a public place.

"I'll come visit." Willow said, before she realized that this was entirely inadequate. Tara's face fell briefly.

"I'll look forward to it." The blonde blinked back tears,

Tara looked at her so intently that Willow wondered what it was she was trying to say. There was nothing she could do. Tara was leaving her. This time by choice.

"I'll visit as soon as I can." Willow said desperately, unsure of what sort of reassurance Tara was seeking.

Tara sighed. Kissed Willow goodbye and smiling uncertainly, left to go. She couldn't make Willow choose. Willow had her friends, she had the slaying, she had a purpose. Making her choose was incredibly unfair and Tara loved her too much to make it a choice.

It wasn't forever, Tara reminded herself as she boarded the train. Someday it might be different.

Willow stared cluelessly at Tara's back as she disappeared into the crowd.

She returned to the train station parking lot slowly, she'd borrowed an old beaten up truck from the garage there. Assumably it belonged to Xander. The door slammed as she shut it behind her. Good, it was a nice loud noise. It was perfect.

The drive seemed to take forever. She couldn't take this.

It was't like she hadn't been assigned enough to do. She had to take apart the computer systems, help with the packing, and the books, and whatever else they had managed to accumulate in the last couple years.

She saw the drive for the house, made the turn to see Xander loading boxes in a u-haul parked outside.

She slammed the door again when she climbed out of the truck. And managed to catch her shirt in the door.

"Agh. This stupid door." Willow opened it again and freed herself from the door.

"Rough drop off?" Xander said in what Willow assumed was supposed to be a comforting tone.

"I guess. Well yeah. But I knew it would be. So I shouldn't be so upset."

"We have tons to keep you busy though, you should check in with Buffy. She's going over her Watcher's journals."

"What about your Watcher's journals?"

"All computerized." Xander smiled proudly.

"Paperless and green. You have them stored on disk?"

The blank look on Xander's face told her that he didn't.

"I'll go downstairs and back them up for you."

She wandered back into the house. Taking her time down the steps. Everyone was gone.

"Hey Will." Buffy called out to her without looking up from her work.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Distinctive stomping." Buffy finally looked up.

Willow sensed an annoying question burgeoning in Buffy's brain, she cut it off instead, "How is it going?"

"The journals?" Buffy looked up from her stack of papers, "Its coming along."

Willow continued the monotonous work of backing up Xander's files to disk. It made sense, it was predictable and let her mind wander.

The silence continued broken only by Buffy's consistent paper shuffling.

Willow finally broke it when she was writing files to the sixth disk, "So what's going on with your journal thing?" She leaned over to take a look.

"I'm kinda behind." Buffy admitted.

"Hey, that was that nest of vamps you told me about three months ago." Willow read a bit of the writing on the page.

"Yeah."

"Is this part of the reason we all split up?" Willow tried, expecting the joke to fall flat.

"So they can keep their own records?" Buffy answered. "Well, its a perk. Course I have to move out of this big comfy old Watcher's getaway and travel around checking on them." She smiled and wrote a few point form notes about the death, and the now mostly-moved-out slayers.

"Will, I want you to make some powerpoint presentations for the slayers - or something."

"Self-train via instructional photos?" Xander's head popped into the doorway.

"Well, yeah. Want to take the pictures?" The slayer laughed, "I talked to Giles about it on the phone last night."

"How's Dawn?" Xander asked

"Okay, prepping for her next term. I'm wondering if we should have told her about Tara."

Willow tensed up suddenly, "You didn't tell her?"

Buffy hesitated, "No? ...Telling her someone is back from the dead is not a phone-conversation, it's a real live in-person conversation. Giles can tell her."

"Yeah, in a few hours..." Xander began but Willow cut him off

"Not going to be good. Long rant-y phone call." Willow cut in, Xander nodding in agreement.

"I know. How long until she's back at college?"

"Eh, she leaves in two weeks? I think? Xander?"

"I don't know. When does term start?"

BBB

_August 22 2005_

"I'm still mad at you." Dawn scowled, crossed her arms and faced off Buffy in the airport.

Buffy relented, not for the first time that day, "I know." She continued under her breath, "I knew I should have just let Tara take you to the airport."

"She's painting her bathroom."

"Luggage all checked, got everything?"

"I can't bring a stake on the plane." Dawn deadpanned in response, "I might be a terrorist."

"Hah. Come here a second" Buffy quickly embraced her little sister.

"Okay, we'll hug. But I'm still mad at you."

"You mentioned that a couple million times during your visit."

"I talk to you, on the phone for three hours and you can't even be bothered to tell me that Tara is back from the dead."

"I know..."

"I mean I'm standing there, in Giles' apartment going on about Spain and in walks Tara..."

Buffy looked sheepish.

"And I was totally gobsmacked. Might have staked her, you know. It could have been a big, bloody Tara-y mess"

"Yeah but you didn't."

"Willow would have killed me."

"Yeah..."

"Did they have another fight?"

"Willow and Tara? No, they're good."

"But then why...?"

"Honestly? I have no idea. I think it's that Willow didn't consider moving in with her."

"Well why don't you just TELL Willow-"

"Why don't you hop on that plane and mind your own business?"

Dawn sighed, gave Buffy one last squeeze and walked off towards her gate, not noticing the stake Buffy had surreptitiously slipped into her pocket.

BBBBB

August 29th 2005

"Well...that was a bust." Buffy closed the door of the tiny apartment that her Xander and Willow were temporarily sharing.

"How was Faith?" Willow asked.

"Remarkably unhelpful despite her talents. You know...even now that we're on the same side.."

"You still don't like her?" Willow suggested helpfully.

"More like...drives me nuts."

"Ah yes...she's like those wacky relatives that I still have and moved here to get away from." Xander stared up at the leaky ceiling opening his chocolate pudding cup.

"Next time? One of you can go talk to her." Buffy collapsed on the couch.

"Oh!' Willow cried. "It's an email from Tara." Willow pouted.

There was a lull.

"So...read it?" Xander suggested.

"What's the point? It's not like she wants to be with me."

"My God Will. Do you really need to be asking me that? I've been supportive, I have done my duty as best friend, but what you really need is a good kick in the pants. If the love of MY life had come back from the dead do you really think I'd be sitting here pouting? No. I would be at her front door with flowers begging for forgiveness. I would be at her side, whatever she felt she had to do. Willow, if you love her so much? Go to her." Xander looked at her exasperated.

"But, you, you guys need me. For all this slayer stuff, right?"

"Willow, it's the technology age, if we need to consult, you can be here. If some big bad comes up? We'll call you in to help us handle it. Besides you can work with Giles from London. And a one bedroom apartment is too small for three people."

Willow paled, stood, grabbed her bag and started throwing things into it.

"That's the spirit Will, love leaves no time for the little things like folding." Xander said.

Buffy cocked one exhausted eye open.

"Willow? Don't forget the flowers, that's a good idea. I had no idea you were such a romantic Xander."

"Well we don't like to brag-"

At this point they were interrupted by the door slamming as Willow left.

"She is going to see Tara, right?"

"Err...I hope so?"

"Is that the last pudding cup?" Buffy pouted.

"Yup, too bad, all gone." Xander quickly finished off the last spoon.

"No fair, all the yummy chocolately goodness is gone."

"Yeah, unless you are going to lick my face."

"Is that a distraction so I won't make you pay up?"

"Fine," Xander shrugged and began looking for the wallet.

"I bet end of the month she'd go back, can't say it wasn't fair."

BBBB

August 31st 2010

The middle of the night.

There was a frantic knocking at Tara's apartment. She looked at the clock. 3:35am She sighed, slipped out of bed and pulled on her robe. Blearily she turned on the light, unbolted the door and opened it.

"Hi?" Willow managed to get out, looking somewhat shaken. She held a somewhat battered bouquet in her hands which she quickly thrust at Tara.

"Willow?" Tara stepped back and let the other witch enter her apartment, she bolted the door behind her.

"Its good to see you. I like the place." Willow looked around at the comforting atmosphere of the apartment, it was earthy and sensual and incredibly Tara. The living room was a deep rust colour, Willow glanced around at the shelves of books, some magic, some not. It felt so familiar.

"Thanks. Uh... Dawn helped me paint it."

"Yeah its nice." Willow clenched her wheely-bag and laptop case in her hands. She

"Hey, you can just drop your bags anywhere."

Willow's awkward nature was battling with her courage, "Are you okay with me being here? Cause I could go?"

Tara reached out for her hand "Stay. Please." Eyes met, and Tara wished she could ask Willow to stay forever. But they talked with their eyes instead. Love and comfort was what would happen here. The bouquet was forgotten temporarily on the coffee table.

Tara didn't know how long Willow would stay, or even what would happen the following morning if she left. But she did know they had a opportunity. And she had an opportunity to provide some comfort to Willow and more importantly to connect with her.

The bags dropped from Willow's hands to the floor. Luckily her Macbook was cushioned by several layers of padding, still the next morning she would quietly panic about it when she noticed it had been dropped to the wooden floors.

Tara led her by the hand through the hall into the bedroom. The mattress rested on the floor, Willow wondered whether this was for affordability or simply because Tara preferred it this way. She didn't ask. They sat down and Tara held her, just held her for what seemed like a small eternity. Eventually one of them made the first move, kissing, making out like they hadn't since maybe before they were lovers. Driving each other into frustration, pressing close before pulling away and beginning all over again.

Clothes hit the floor. Skin slid on skin. Tara gasped.

The early morning light peered through the windows Tara was cradled in Willow's arms with the soft light falling over her moony face. Willow breathed in the smell of Tara's hair smelling faintly of honey, the smell of Tara's skin, the smell of their bodies tangled together in the morning.

"What are you thinking sweetie?" Tara always seemed to know when Willow was awake.

"That I wish I could just stay here like this, with you, forever."

"How...how long are you staying?"

"Forever sounds good to me."

"Oh. Me too." Tara's body relaxed entirely as she snuggled up against Willow's lithe lean body.


	13. Bearer of Bad News

Buffy hurried towards the cafe at what she presumed was the back of Giles' head. She stared at the patio in front of the cafe, hoping that this was the end of the 'finding-Giles' part of her day.

There had been 3 more reported deaths of slayers in the last week. One in the UK, two others in the states. None of them she'd been particularly close to, but their deaths stung. Same staked with their own stake. And no leads as to what might be killing them.

She'd been tracking Giles for the better part of the day. No one had known exactly where he was.

Suddenly Giles caught sight of her, "Buffy."

The woman who sat across from him was in her 40s, dark hair liberally streaked with gray.

Buffy took a breath, wondering whether or not she should interrupt Giles on what was probably his version of a hot date.

"Hey, umm can I talk with you a minute?" Buffy hurried her way up to the table trying to convey urgency in her voice.

"Now isn't the greatest time." Giles responded.

"Who is...?" The woman seemed to be assessing them rather quickly.

"This is my... daughter, Buffy Summers. Buffy this is my friend Lydia"

"Lovely to meet you."

"First date?" Buffy looked at Giles questioningly.

"Er. Second actually." He took off his glasses and cleaned them as he cleared his throat and began to resemble a deer caught in the headlights.

"So Rupert, any other children?"

"No...no, just the one. Though her friends are around so much it seems like they are mine as well." Giles laughed awkwardly.

"So...Dad...we lost a few..."Buffy paused for words. "kittens today."

"Kittens...really... Ah...Buffy volunteers at the animal shelter. How many today?"

"Three."

"Oh dear. That is quite awful. Do you have veterinary aspirations Buffy?" Lydia asked.

"No, no I'm a... personal trainer."

"She's quite good." Giles chimed in.

"Well you are quite fit." Lydia smiled "And American, I had no idea you were so well-travelled Rupert."

"Do you have any children Lydia?"

"Me? Oh no no...I was married once, but no children."

'Well...see you...around...Dad." Buffy smiled and gave Giles a quick hug before running off.

"I never pictured you as a father Rupert, it suits you."

"Eh, well yes. So what did you think of the movie?"

BBB

Willow sat on the beige couch, sinking into the too squishy cushions. She flicked through channels at a rapid pace.

It was mostly soaps.

She'd been living with Tara for two weeks now. They'd fallen into what Willow decided was a comfortable pattern. If a bit different from before. Tara had classes four days out of the week, she spent her non-class day- Wednesday either at the library, or she and Willow would truck out to the nearest group of (non-magical) Wiccans or grab a bite somewhere.

She'd made Tara a schedule for school, a chore checklist, and then she'd spent most of her time watching movies, or whatever was on television.

The lock clicked as Tara struggled for a moment to unlock the door. They'd recently discovered the door stuck slightly. But hadn't made arrangements to get it fixed yet.

"Hi baby." Willow glanced up from the show she was half-watching, with her new macbook on her lap as she played with a new draft of Tara's schedule.

Tara was quiet as she brought in her stuff and set her book-bag down on the kitchen counter.

"What's wrong?"

"Sweetie have you been inside all day again?"

"Err. Well I went to go check the mail, and I fell up the stairs, but otherwise yeah. Pretty much in this general vicinity all day."

Tara slumped next to her on the couch, glancing at the computer screen which was code she didn't really understand.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but honey, you need to get a job."

"But I do. I slay, I cast spells-"

"Darling, you answer emails. Slayer-attendance." Tara cracked a smile at her own line.

"That's working. We lost three more slayers this week- I have to keep an eye on things."

"I just think maybe it would be better to get out of the apartment, at least a little bit," The blonde tried a more gently approach.

Willow thought about it for a moment, "I'd need to keep being able to check on things, keep answering, running the computerized resources."

"Well maybe you could get a job that you could do both at?" Tara suggested diplomatically.

Willow turned to face her, "What do you have in mind?"

BBB

"Yes, yes. Have a good day. Thank you." Willow chirped as she hung up the call.

She glanced around her cubicle before the phone rung again.

She answered it promptly,"Tech Support, Willow speaking, how may I help you today?" Her response was so scripted, maybe she should design a randomized series of responses to ease the boredom.

The next words pulled the redhead out of her own brain and back into the real world.

"Hello?" The voice rang slightly too loudly through her headset. Distinctly male.

"Hello." Willow responded on autopilot as her pen fell to the floor and she bent briefly to pick it up.

"Yes my computer isn't working." The voice had taken on a distinct panic.

"Can you tell me what its doing sir?"

"Blue screen, it won't really turn on."

"Are you getting anything? Error messages?"

"Yeah. Constantly. You really need to help me fix this."

"Okay, so what happened before you got the blue screen?"

"Nothing. I just tried to fix my computer speed problem by deleting system 32."

Willow smacked one hand audibly to her head, "Why did you do that?"

"Advice from a chatroom." The voice on the other line answered seeming perfectly calm.

Taking a deep breath Willow continued, "Ok. Well that is why you can't get anything but a blue screen." She rubbed her temples briefly, this shift was way too long for this job.

"So how do I get it to work again?"

"Well, you have to reinstall your system software." Willow opened up a new window on her computer- running through the list of emails that really was slayer attendance, she multitasked and quickly opened up her excel attendance sheet and absentmindedly made note of who had checked in.

"Oh ok, I can do that." The voice seemed somewhat relieved.

"Great, so just get your Windows XP disk, and -"

Then the voice started again, "So how do I get my files back?"

"Well, sir. You can't. You just deleted everything." Willow's attention was once again redirected to her job.

"I just deleted system 32."

"Yes. Which deleted everything. Its a big part of the system software, imagine your computer is a sandwich, only now there's no bread, or meat or anything in it anymore, and you are left with an empty plate and no lunch at all." Willow attempted gently to calm the man down.

"You have to help me fix this."

"I'm afraid I really can't."

"This is tech support."

"Sorry?" Willow suggested hopefully. She hated the angry ones. Especially the stupid ones who had never skimmed through a manual in their lives. Although the clueless ones were a bit annoying too. But the older lady that had called this morning had been very nice, and talkative...

Willow was shocked back into reality by a louder voice echoing through her headset.

"You are supposed to help me fix this!" The voice exclaimed.

"I'm sorry sir, next time you have a computer problem maybe call tech support before you go online and take advice from random people." Willow attempted diplomatically.

"I want to speak to your supervisor."

"Alright" Willow transferred the call, and noted it in her log.

The phone rang again.

She glanced at the excel sheet, ticking off the last few names. One was missing. Buffy was not going to like this.

BBB

Willow came home, the usual bounce in her step more or less absent. She struggled to unlock the door and stepped inside. Stupid lock still stuck. They'd have to get that fixed. Sometime.

"Hey Sweetie," Tara called from the kitchen.

Her girlfriend only moaned slightly in response and flopped on the sofa.

"Could you take a look at the printer later? It's been acting weird." Tara called coming closer only to see Willow in the fetal position on their couch.

"How was your day?" Tara tried again, sitting down beside the small lump that was Willow.

Her response was to quickly crawl into Tara's lap and bury her face in the other witch's neck.

"Okay. You don't have to fix the printer. It's alright." Tara wrapped her arms around Willow, "Was your day really awful?"

She then mumbled something that sounded like "mahmmmcadstup" into Tara's skin.

The redhead pulled back slightly with the lack of response, "Really stupid callers, my cubicle is boring, my legs hurt and we have a missing slayer. I hate my job."

"Is the job really that bad?" Tara's voice was heavily laden with concern and her own guilt.

"Sometimes. Sometimes its ok." Willow reached out to run her fingers through Tara's hair.

Tara kissed Willow's forehead briefly, "Do you want me to call Buffy for you?"

"I better do it."

"Honey, I can do this one if you need a break from being the bearer of bad news all the time."

Willow seemed to process the suggestion for a moment before shooting it down, "I better do it Tara. Buffy is really not going to like this."

"Of course not. Its hard on all of you. Every time you lose one. I feel it too."

"No I mean. Really not like it."

"Why? What do you mean?"

"I ran the attendance- not just the numbers. I know who the missing slayer is... and Buffy won't like it." Willow said nervously.

Tara looked into her eyes urgently, "Who?"

The response was a single word. "Faith."


End file.
